Hiya Gary, 
Cape Town, South Africa
Part 73
I’m typing this mail offline and saving it to disk. I hope that when I logon before I go home [from school] that you’ve sorted out the mail prob. Mark and I have had a fight, and I needta sort a few things out this arvie, so I’m skipping swim training.
I told Mark about the ep[isode] with Wingnut yesterday arvie and he totally collapsed.
“You are fucking wicked. I would’ve clobbered you.”
“He did. Check here.” I showed him the bruise on my arm.
“Good for him.”
“Yeah, well, you should see the bruises on his legs.”
“So you beat up on lighties. You’re a bully.”
“He’s a tough shit. How did it go at Carol’s yesterday?”
*He smiled.* “Oh we had our ups and downs.”
“You really dig her, huh?”
“Pretty much.”
“Didya ever feel that way about Steph?”
“You sure you want to head in that direction?”
“Sure.”
“I don’t think Steph and I got further than just a fuck when we needed it. I’m surprised you’ve lasted as long as you have [with her].”
“It’s my charm.”
“Just don’t want to see you get hurt, buddy.”
“Hey, we’re in love.”
“YOU’RE in love.”
“Why do you say it like that?”
“Can I tell you something without you rushing to go and tell Steph?”
“Not sure. Depends.”
“Then I can’t tell you.”
“OK, I won’t rush to Steph.”
“Sorry, Code – I can’t tell you.”
“Aahh, fuck! Don’t do this! Now you’re gonna have me wondering what’s up [for] the whole damn day.”
“Hey, it’s nothing, anyway.”
“So – tell me.”
“Forget it. I’m sorry I even said anything.”
“Some kinda friend you are.”
“That’s life.”
“I fucking hate it whenya say that. So you’re not gonna tell me?”
“Pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“Yeah, right. So I’ll go and ask Steph what it is that you never told me.”
“Now you’re being fucking stupid.”
“That’s life.”
“OK, you’re desperate to know. Why don’t you rather ask Steve?”
“Ask him what?”
“What it was like fucking Steph.”
“If Steve toldya that, then he’s lying.”
“No, he never told me that – Carol did. She wasn’t supposed to tell me but we’ve got this weird relationship where we don’t have secrets.”
“Steph wouldn’t do that.”
“No? She’s a fucking slut, and that’s why I left her.”
I don’t think Mark saw it coming. My fist caught him on his jaw. It was like hitting a wall. He collapsed and I thought I’d knocked him out. He stood up, and his jaw had a bruise already, and his bottom lip was swelling on the one side. I really thought he was gonna knock me for a six then, but he just shook his head.
“Fuck you, Cody. I should break your fucking neck. You begged me to tell you and [now] you can’t handle the fucking truth.”
“It’s a lie.”
“Is it? Steve’s been fucking Steph for a while now. That’s the problem with having a friend like him who sees every fuck as a conquest.”
“Steph wouldn’t do it.”
“Yeah, well, he tried it on with Carol as well.”
“He’s my best friend. He wouldn’t do that with my girlfriend.”
“Maybe she came onto him.” By now his jaw was quite swollen, and there was blood on his chin from his lip.
“I’ll phone Carol and find out if she thinks it’s true.”
“Leave Carol out of it, bro.”
“Why? She toldya didn’t she?”
“Stop being fucking childish, and just leave her alone.”
“Scared I’m gonna fuck her?”
“You? Don’t make me laugh, Cody. Just don’t ask me to tell you anything again. You’ve got a fucking short fuse, and you better learn to deal with it before you get hurt.”
*I was so mad that I was shaking, and I was itching for a fight.* “Who’s gonna hurt me? You?”
“Cody, just quit while you’re ahead. OK? Before we say things to each other that we’re gonna regret later.”
“Nah, let’s sort it out now and then be friends [again] afterwards." *I pushed him on the chest.*
“I can’t believe you’re doing this. I’m fucking doing everything [possible] to stop hitting you because you’re my friend.”
“So – hit me.”
“Fuck off, Cody. I’m outta here. Speak to me when you’ve cooled off.”
As he turned to go, I grabbed his blazer, and he turned [back toward me] and let me have it. I know he hit me twice. It coulda been more. I woke up with smelling salts under my nose. It was our gym coach. I told him that I musta slipped and hit my head or something. He took me to the first-aid room and I saw that Mark had given me a fat lip, and my cheek was swollen. He [the coach] kept quizzing me about fighting because my knuckles are torn up a bit, and I almost told him to fuck off as well. But that woulda gotten me a suspension.
Haven’t seen Mark since then, and I won’t be going to swim prac, so I guess I won’t be seeing him now, either.
What the fuck. If today’s a day to tell all my friends to fuck off outta my life then that’s also cool. He [Mark] told me to get a life, so that’s what I’ll do.
So this arvie I’m going to Steve’s place to find out what’s going on, and fuck him up good and solid, and then speak to Steph and tell her to go and blow Wingnut if she wants a dick so badly. Mark fucking warned me that she was one to eye the hunky guys but, for fuck sake, I didn’t think it was a case of taking them to bed like a fucking slut.
Between the swim saga, which seems to be now OK, this, and your mail [not arriving], I feel like I’m going fucking crazy, and I’m getting a pile of mail from Alan R and other guys that I haven’t even had a chance to look at yet. I thought that if I write this [business with Mark] all down I might feel better but I think I just get madder and madder.
I’ll cya G
Write ifya can
CodyDANIEL – I’M IN SHIT – MY HEAD IS FUCKED UP AND I NEED SOMEONE WHO I CAN TRUST RIGHT NOW.
[The last mail Cody received from me was written Jan 27, 2000, about a week before he wrote the stuff above. There was a problem with my server, which I eventually solved. I can remember being in major panic mode cos Cody was in trouble and I couldn’t communicate with him. I drove my ISP crazy trying to get the situation back to normal. When Cody did receive my mail again, however, I wasn’t too sympathetic towards his predicament. I told him that if he was having sex with multiple partners, including Steve, he couldn’t realistically expect Steph to be totally faithful to him. What was good for the goose, etc. MrB]
Oh, Wingnut popped in just before supper."So I heard about this fight – Cody and Mark – and I said to my buds, “no way cos they’re the best of buds.” Then I saw Mark at swimming but no Cody. Mark looked right pissed off with the world, and like a bus [had] reversed into his face. So I didn’t even ask him where his friend was. So now I see you looking like a piano dropped on you, and I wonder what’s cooking.”
He got a smile outta me, at least. “Hey, little bro, it’s complicated – too complicated. I just needta be on my own for a while.”
“You want to take a walk to the beach or something?”
“Got homework.”
“Picked up the dog crap.”
“I see. Thanks.”
“Guess you want me to go now, huh?”
“Not really. I just have things to sort out, though.”
“That’s cool. We’re still bros, right?”
“Always.”
“Cya, Cody.”
“Cya, buddy.”
Got up pretty l8, exhausted. The swelling has gone down but my face looks like I’ve done 15 rounds with Mike Tyson. Wingnut was fulla questions again.
“So what did you guys fight about, Code?”
“It’s stupid.”
“That’s what my dad said – that it’s probably over something stupid. You guys still going to be friends?”
“Gonna have to wait and see.”
“I hope so. I think Mark’s cool. You’re cooler, though. It’s just that I’d hate to be on bad vibes with Mark. Everyone yesterday was talking about the fight and trying to figure what happened. You’re like a hero cos they say nobody has given Mark a beating yet. A lotta guys are saying he had it coming cos of his bad attitude.”
“So, do I look like a hero?”
“Nope, you look like a wreck.”
“Mark’s not got a bad attitude. He’s just a loner, so people think he’s weird. He’s a cool guy once you get to know him.”
“Yep. So you guys are gonna be friends right?”
“Let’s see which way the wind blows, buddy.”
“It’s blowing on shore. No surf.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Wingnut went down to the pool for swim training and I came up here [to the comp lab]. I’ve got waterproof spray over the stitches but I can use them for an excuse for a day or so [to avoid swim prac]. Haven’t seen Mark. He’s probably at the pool. I wonder if he’s getting the same stares that I am from all the guys.
[Later]
At recess, I went to watch Wingnut and the juniors training. I sat at the top of the stands. Wingnut came to me before he went to shower.
“You seen Mark?”
“Duh. We’re in the same class.”
“So, you guys friends again?”
“Haven’t spoken to each other.”
“This morning at training he asked where you were.”
“And?”
“I told him that you were still laying under the piano that fell on you, and he laughed. He didn’t know about the stitches. He doesn’t know his own strength.”
“Did he swim?”
“Yeah. He’s swimming like a fish. So, you gonna see him at training this arvie?”
“I can’t. I’ve got stitches.”
“So I’ll see you at home?”
“Maybe.”
“OK … must I tell Mark hi forya?”
“You’re shivering. Go grab a shower.”
“Yeah … I better get moving.”
I’m gonna need to speak to Mark. Not sure how, though. Not sure if it’s [my] being stubborn. I think it’s more like how stupid this whole thing has been. We’re in the same class all the time and everyone is like giving us the fucking eye, and waiting to see who is gonna chirp who first. Everyone is just itching for us to climb into each other. Mark is just keeping his head down all the time and trying to concentrate on his work.[In my Mark/Wingnut notes there are short references to Mark being surprised to learn from Wingnut that Cody had stitches and couldn’t attend swim training. Wingnut was pestering Mark about the reason for the fight, but Mark wasn’t talking. Missing from the notes and original email is what happened when Cody went around to Steve’s place after fighting with Mark, and skipping swim prac that afternoon. There was a confrontation, and Steve won. His excuse for bonking Steph was that he wanted to show her what a “real man” was like. That comment cut Cody to the quick. A friend of Steve’s arrived as backup but he wasn’t needed. Later, Cody phoned Steph and abused her. She tried to explain that it was just a fling, and that there was nothing serious between her and Steve. Cody didn’t buy that, and was devestated. Long after that event, and following Cody’s death, I wrote the Steve story where he admitted to having been insanely jealous of Cody’s relationships with Steph and Mark. They were dark days for Steve, but he’s since emerged from that turmoil and is doing OK. Meantime, he and Cody had made up and become friends and lovers again. MrB]
Things are pretty quiet here as you can imagine. Folks have gone to the Mall to do some shopping, so I’m hanging out here for a while. Wingnut was around earlier - fuck, as I was busy replying to one of those other emails you sent. Said he’s just going to check out the surf and then come back and tell me what it’s like.
On Saturday, Wingnut went down to check the surf. It was sloppy as hell, but I went down with him just for a paddle. We weren’t down for too long – about two hours. I spent the rest of the day working on my school assignments, and then had a few jobs around the ‘hood. Wingnut went out with some friends on Friday. They went to the movies. He and his girlfriend then went for pizza. He saw Mark and Carol, and they sat with them for a bit. Mark wanted to know if he knew what I was doing, and Wingnut told him that I was at home. Mark and Carol then went down to Corners.This morning I got here l8 and I saw Mark in class, but we didn’t really chat to each other cos we’ve been busy. It’s taken me the whole break [recess] to write this mail [Probably about Cody’s altercation with Steve. MrB] just to letya know that I’m OK. Well, sorta. I’ve gotta go and see Ross during second recess cos he wants to know when I can start training again cos the tour is only a few weeks away. I guess I owe him a story but I’ll probably get down to swim training tomorrow or maybe even this arvie. I’ve got these damn butterflies in my gut, though, cos I know that I’m gonna haveta speak to Mark at some stage. What’s going on now is really stupid. It’s just that I know I was wrong to start that fight, and even after I hit him he tried to walk away from it.
Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved. mrbstories
