Cape Town, South Africa
More great weather here. My folks were out last night so I fetched Steph. Guess what? She got a call from Carol at Mark’s place saying what a great time the two of them were having and how relaxed Mark was. He’s like a new person. The two of them were going out to dinner with Mark’s boss. I don’t know if Steph expected me to jump up and down [with excitement] about the news.
“Sounds like Mark’s made the best move – getting out of the house.”
“Yeah, for Mark.”
“Lighten up, Cody. Don’t you think your friend deserves a break?”
“From me? Probably.”
“That’s not what I mean. You know the situation he was in at home. And I don’t think it was that easy for him to move. So I’m glad it’s working out for him.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“And it’ll be good for you and him. You were like living in each other’s pockets. And it’s not like we don’t see him.”
“Hey, stop it already about Mark. OK?”
We did lighten up, and then Steph got the sarong out and I hadta model it, wearing it in all different ways. Over my shoulder, around my waist, pulled up between my legs, folded small like a loin cloth, and then we wrapped it around the both of us. We got kinda lost in our own world and made love for ages. I really do love Steph, and I love it that she does kinda have a way of keeping me on track. But it’s also a different kinda love. I’ve tried to work it out in my head, but can’t really.
Anyway, the plus is that Mark was at coffee this morning. The minus is that Carol was with him. Don’t get me wrong. I like Carol and she’s totally beautiful. If the two of them get married they’re gonna have little god kids. It’s just that I can’t talk about everything that I normally do [when she’s there]. And to see the two of them so close also doesn’t make me feel on top of the world.
Mark intro’d Carol to Sam and it turns out that they’ve met before. Not like friends or anything but at the same place. Carol’s going back home today and Mark is probably gonna come through and sleep at her place tonight – if he’s not working tomorrow. I would’ve offered him to sleep at my place but how could I do that in front of Carol? Anyway, they’d obviously made plans already. Last night, they went to a really larny [expensive] restaurant with his boss and wife, and it sounds like they had a great time.
I phoned Mark at work and asked if I was gonna see him.
“I’m hoping tonight, Cody. You, Steph, Carol and me. Like always.”
“Don’t suppose we’re gonna get a chance to be together alone to talk or anything.”
“I’m not sure, Cody. But lighten up, OK? Things are coming together.”
“I know. You’re looking totally different. Relaxed.”
“I am. I’ve gotta jet, Code. Can’t talk for too long on the work phone.”
“Can I call later?”
“I’m gonna be busy. It’s a hassle calling me to the phone. I don’t want to screw things up here.”
“OK. Well try and call me if you can. OK?”
“I’ll try, else I’ll see you tonight.”
“Same, buddy. Check you later.”
“Hey, I miss you.”
“Same here. Bye, Cody.”
Mark never made it to coffee this morning. Waited for-fucking-ever for him.
Had a really good weekend. Friday night, Mark slept at Carol’s so we all went out to Wipe Out to play pool and enjoy the music. It was a totally rave evening. No hassles from anyone. Mark and Carol were wiping Steph and me off the pool table ‘til the last game when we totally thrashed them, and they’d only sank one ball. That made up for all the losses. Didn’t really get a chance to speak to Mark on his own but it was such a good vibe that I wasn’t gonna spoil it. Mark hadta go to work [at the pizza restaurant] on Saturday, so he was back at his own place again on Saturday night. I wish he’d hurry up and get the fucking cell phone so I can at least contact him. It’s the [lack of] contact thing that fucks my brain. Carol slept over at Mark’s again on Saturday. Looks like their relationship is really going aces at the moment.
[You’re pissed off, Code. You’re trying to make me believe that you’re handling Mark’s moving to the garden flat and Carol’s possessiveness but you’re not. MrB]
Steve phoned me at work on Saturday to say that he’s back in town and wanted to connect. So we went surfing on Saturday evening.
[Because Cody wasn’t at school anymore and couldn’t email me as often or as regularly as he used to, he would write a diary over a period of a few days or a week off line at home, and send it later at the internet café. MrB]
Tuesday morning, and still no Mark. Sorry to hear about your arm, G. Hope it gets sorted. My dad wears a copper bracelet on his wrist cos he was getting pains in his wrist and elbow. Been wearing it for years and says he never feels the pain anymore. [At the time, I thought I was getting RSI. Typing was extremely painful, and I had to rest my arm regularly. But it wasn’t RSI, and my arm improved after some days. The cause was muscular strain from lifting my neighbor’s heavy wardrobe and taking it from the garage to her spare bedroom. Scared the hell outa me at first. RSI is a typist’s death sentence. MrB] I haven’t heard from Mark since Friday night now and it’s driving me fucking crazy.
Saw my little buddy last night. That was a breath of fresh air. He breezed in and told me about his first day back at school. He had swim squad training yesterday. I really miss that. I used to love swimming at school. Darren was there cos varsity hasn’t started yet, so he’s helping the coach sort out the good swimmers. I need to give Darren a ring – suddenly realize I’d like to see him again. Wingnut said the first day of school was OK. He’s already gotten in with his buds and made some new friends. Cricket during breaks.
“Hey, Cody. You gonna swim for the old boys’ team at the [school] swimming gala?”
“I guess – if I can get there.”
“Tell Conan, too. That will be so fucking cool – having you guys there.”
“I hardly see Mark.”
“Yeah, well, [ask him] when you do. Our new senior team is gonna whip your asses.”
“Probably. Haven’t trained.”
“So you’re already making excuses. Wimpy.”
“I’ll kick your ass. Where were you the weekend?”
“Friday night, I went with Candy to a movie, and Saturday night we went to a friend of her’s house party. Got myself totally slaughtered so I slept over there. Her friend wanted me to stay cos she was into my pants. But I just passed out. Damn. I coulda gotten into her easy.”
“Yeah, well, I think Candy’s the best thing for you.”
“Yeah, we’re in love. Serious, Code. Me and Candy are gonna get married. We already spoke about it. We’re gonna hang [together] right through to when we’re finished university or whatever.”
“My girlfriend also said that to me when I was 13.”
“Yeah – but then you got all ugly.”
After Wingnut left, I went around to [see] Steph to find out how her first day back [at school] was.
Wednesday morning: Still no Mark but it may be cos I went to Carol’s last night. I asked her to please give me Mark’s number at home, and she wouldn’t. I told her not to be a bitch and that I needed to speak to Mark. She goes on about Mark not wanting anyone phoning him at that number.
“But you can.”
“Only if it’s urgent.”
“This is urgent, C. I really need to speak to Mark.”
“Phone him at work.”
“He can never get to the phone.”
“So what do you want me to do, Cody?”
“Is it going to be that much hassle just to give me his number?”
“You can stop asking, Code. I’m not giving it to you.”
“You’re being a total fucking bitch.”
“Yeah, well, fuck you. Who the fuck do you think you’re speaking to?”
“I’m sorry, C. I just need to get hold of Mark.”
“Mark said that nobody must get the number, Cody. He’s getting himself a mobile [cell phone] and then it will be OK.”
“Yeah, well, whatever. He’s been saying that for ages now.”
Tried phoning him at work again this morning but he was out on the water.
Mark phoned last night. First q: “Did you go over to Carol’s place to get my [phone] number?”
“I’ve already told you I can’t give it to you.”
“Cool. I get the message loud and clear. ‘Hi, Mark. Hi, Cody. Howzit going? Totally fantastic. And you? Cool, man’.”
“Whatever. Did you call Carol ‘a fucking bitch’?”
“I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“Just stay away from her, Cody.”
“Hey, I said I was sorry. All I wanted was your number.”
“Did you hear me? I said stay away from Carol. If you do that again, Cody, I will come over there and fuck you up.”
“Yeah, I heard you the first time. Hey, how’s it going? I’ve missed you.”
“It’s going OK. Busy.”
“Why haven’t you been down for coffee [in the mornings]?”
“Busy and exhausted.”
“Will I see you there tomorrow morning?”
“Hey, can I ask you a question and get a straight answer?”
“Are you trying to avoid me?”
“Crap. I’ve just been working my butt off. Anyway, we need to chat.”
“My buddy would’ve said, ‘yeah, sure’, and he would’ve been there.”
“I’ve gotta go. Cheers.”
“Cya. Miss you.”
Steph also phoned and said that Carol told her about me being there [at her place] and swearing at her. Fucking hell. Anyway, Steph wasn’t too mad about it, but Carol’s like blown this thing out of the water.
Mark didn’t make it to coffee this morning. I’ve decided that I need to get over my love for him. That’s the problem. I am madly fucking in love with him and it’s on a road to nowhere cos it’ll never happen. I think he’s had time to think about what happened the other night [between us] and it’s totally freaked his brain that he actually had a guy’s cock in his mouth.
[I think it was at this point that I had serious doubts about continuing with the Mark story. I figured I’d got it all wrong, and that I’d misjudged Mark. If I’d been Cody, there’s no way that I would have accepted Mark’s abrupt attitude and plain bad manners. But, my scallywag mate persisted where others would have given up. MrB]
Looks like the wind is dying. Last night, I went around to Steph’s cos I hadta see her. She said that Steve came around there after school. He was telling her about Brazil and his trip. We had a long chat about Mark, and she knows how much Mark means to me as a friend. OK, so she doesn’t know physically how much he means to me but she understands my friendship with him. I just had to speak to someone about it. She says that it’s the same thing with her and Carol. They have been friends ever since before grade 1, and she would hate to not have that contact where she can speak to Carol about anything she wants.
Mark wasn’t at coffee again this morning, so I phoned him as soon as I got into the shop. He answered the phone. Bust.
“Yeah, it’s me. Howzit going?”
“OK. Just been busy.”
“Keeps you out of shit, though. Hehehe.”
“Pretty much. What’s up with you?”
“So, so. Waited for you every morning.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. We’ve been working really late.”
“Guess you’re pretty fucked, then.”
“I just thought that – well, you said you wanted to chat, so I thought you’d be at coffee this morning.”
“I said I’d see, Cody.”
“I’m not handling this not seeing you, Mark. Fucking serious downers at the moment.”
“Well, you’re going to need to [handle it]. I’m going to Joburg for a while.”
“What about your job here?”
“My boss says I can get my job back as soon as I get back here.”
“I don’t fucking know. Maybe Joburg will pan out. If it doesn’t then I’ll come back. If it does then we’ll wait and see.”
“You coming to coffee tomorrow?”
“I’ll try, OK.”
“Yeah, well, whatever. I’ll try. I’ve gotta go. Cya, Cody.”
Last night was a bust. I had to help my dad with something on the car. Took the whole damn night. Wingnut breezed in to say hi and that was about it.
Mark met me this morning. I had such a weird feeling; excited and down at the same time. He just looks better every day. He’s let his hair grow a little longer on top and shorter at the sides so he styles it. He was in a t and shorts, and everything seemed like magnified to me. The bulge in his shorts didn’t hide that he was loaded down there. His t clung to his chest and I could see his nipples. His tanned legs – yeah – I could go on. I could say his cute smile [as well] but he was serious.
He breezed into the coffee shop and gave me a punch on the shoulder as he sat down opposite me. “Howzit?”
“Cool. Fuck, I thought maybe you weren’t coming.”
“Stop looking so miserable. I’m here.” He seemed quite relaxed and smiling as if we’d been meeting every single day.
“So what’s up? I’ve missed you, man.”
“So? So what?”
“C’mon. Tell me what’s happening.”
“Been fucked up busy. The boss is pretty impressed with the way I’ve been working.”
“He should be. You’ve got good legs.”
“Shut the fuck up.” *Smile*
“I never lie. It’s true.”
“Listen – I’m going to Joburg.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Give me a chance. It’s for a little while, and then I’ll be back. My boss says I can get my job back any time. This other dude [in Joburg] says he’s got a car for me to use up there, plus the room, plus everything I need.”
“You haven’t got a [driver’s] license.”
“Well, there’s more. He’s paying for me to get my learner’s [permit] and then my driver’s. He needs me to drive.”
“Fuck, that’s cool.”
“Then stop looking so fucking miserable.”
“Hey, I can’t help it. I’ve missed you, and I can’t get hold of you. When are you getting your mobile?”
“I sit here every morning, waiting and hoping that you’re gonna show up. And then you don’t.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry.”
“So now when do I see you again?”
“Hey, stop bitching for fuck sake. I’m here now.”
“When are you leaving for Joburg?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can I phone you up there?”
“I’m not sure.”
“But you’re getting a cell phone, right?”
“Yes. Stop with the questions already.”
“I’m not gonna handle this.”
“Hey, you can handle it. Hey, Cody, I want you to be happy for me. There are things happening right now which are making this an exciting time for me. I know that you’re gonna be unhappy for a while, but you’ll get over it. We’re friends forever. This is not a goodbye, it’s an I’m-gonna-see-you-soon time.”
“You might like Joburg.”
“The worst thing about this whole trip is that I’m not going to see you for a while. But I think it’s going to be good for both of us.”
“What does Carol say?”
“Well, that’s something I haven’t told you yet. But I think you need to know everything right now. Carol and I are splitting up.”
“Now you’re fucking joking, right? So you’re not coming back?”
“Carol and I spoke about it when she stayed with me [at the garden flat]. We both think it’s going to be for the best. Carol’s still got a year of school. She can concentrate on her final year. I’m going to be away most of the time. It also takes the pressure off her to hang around and wait for me.”
“So you’re not coming back.”
“I’m not sure when. There’s a lot of work up there.”
*I fought the tears back. There was no way I was gonna let him see me cry, but my eyes were burning*. “It’s gonna be hard not seeing you. I thought things were coming together for us.”
“Cody, that’s another thing. I need to sort my mind out. I felt something the other night [when we had sex] that I’ve never felt before.”
“Hehehe, ‘attaboy. I love you, Code. You’ll never understand how much. This move is not all that easy for me. There’s a lot of shit in my head at the moment. But it’s something I need to do.”
“I know I’ve been coming on too strong.”
“You were being you.”
“Can we see each other? Like a sleep-over, before you go?”
“I’m going to try. Really.”
He was telling me about some of the yachties and how much he’s enjoying sailing. Now he wants to own his own yacht one day and sail the world. We were both pretty much relaxed by the time we had to go to work.
I’ve just gotta get my mind right [about Mark’s leaving] cos it’s gonna happen whether I like it or not. Like the man says, ‘it’s gonna be hard’. Breaking up with Carol came as a surprise, and that just kinda made my heart sink even more, cos now there’s fuck all for him to come back to.
[It was a difficult time for me to be Cody’s friend/advisor/mentor. I was at a loss to find the right words to say. His heart was breaking. But Mark’s future was at stake. They were boys together at school – tight buddies. Now they were young men setting a course for the rest of their lives, and that inevitably meant separation. Even if Mark had stayed in Cape Town, Cody would have gone on to university to study marine biology, and that would have meant eventual travel. Steve told me that Cody had his sights set on Florida or California. But for a young person head-over-heels in love, it’s not easy to see beyond today or tomorrow – the bigger picture. Sharing Cody’s highs and lows certainly taught me a lot about life. I don’t think I would have been as well equipped to help his friend Steve if it hadn’t been for my experience with Cody. MrB]
Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved. mrbstories
Codeman Part 115