The weather in Cape Town is hot. And now onto the weather in other parts of the world. Spain is sunny, that’s if you’re near the sunny parts – otherwise cloudy. Don’t forget the English summer in your diary – 20 July.
Cape Town, South Africa
You’re not gonna believe what Wingnut has got us involved in. He’s got me cycling. I hadta totally dismantle, clean and service my bike. I haven’t used the damn thing in years. He wants me and him to take part in the Argus Cycle Tour. It’s an annual thing. It’s a 104 km cycle tour around the Cape Peninsular and it’s hectic as hell. Anyway, I promised that I’d start cycling with him cos he wants to enter even if I’m too wussified to – or too old – hehehehe. I am gonna murder the scumbag. I’m really not cycle fit, though, but at least I’ll go out [training] with him. I’m really too late to enter, and he’s managed to get an entry [form] from a friend of his that’s already paid for. There’s over 30 thousand cyclists taking part, so you can imagine.
So now Gary’s thinking, ‘Fucking hell, Cody’s in a good mood. What’s happened?'
I promised Mark that I would try to behave, and to stop being miserable. And I think I’m being pretty good even if I am being eaten up inside. Not bad, huh?
But at the same time, it looks like you’ve been through a valley or two over the last week. I’ve been reading your Thoughts and News pages. I reckon it’s good therapy to write stuff down even if it’s not gonna be read by anyone. I think it just helps to kind of sort it out in your head, although sometimes it’s not that simple.
This is the first chance I’ve had this week to actually get down and write something [to you]. Work would be totally bril[liant] at the moment if it wasn’t that I was constantly thinking about Mark and me.
Mark and Carol must’ve been screwing the whole weekend to make sure they don’t forget each other. I’m not sure how they’re gonna handle this separation story. If Carol is in love with Mark just a little bit, like me, then she is gonna go insane not seeing him, and not being able to touch him. Hehehe – I once imagined what it would be like to be Carol and feeling Mark right up close while his boner is buried inside of me.
All of us went out on Friday night. We went to the waterfront in Cape Town for burgers, and then we all went through to Dockside at Century City. Pretty cool evening. I can’t wait for us to get driver’s licenses, though, cos this [hitch] hiking is starting to be the pits. Maybe I’m just getting too old or something. Mark was wearing a tight white vest and Levis, and had anything with two legs gawking [at him]. His jeans like ride into his [ass] crack while he’s walking. I wanna be a paira Levis in my next life. :0 I think I was pretty good cos I put on my plastic smile for the night. Mark was really styling on the [dance] floor. But, hey, that’s my buddy. He’s always styling, anyway.
I worked my ass off in the shop on Saturday. I had two lighties bring in boards with dings that had to be repaired, and they made me feel pretty spesh cos they were asking me questions while I was busy with the repair jobs. They hadta leave their boards behind, though, and collect them on Tuesday.
On Monday and Tuesday my boss asked me to go out with some Swedish dudes who were touring. They wanted to visit some of the surf spots, and wanted someone to go with them who knew the [local] places. I didn’t even know that they surfed in Sweden. It was totally cool, though. They paid for everything. Bought me lunch, and then gave me 500 bucks [rand] on Tuesday arvie. There were five of them, and only two spoke English that I could sort of understand. One of the dudes that did speak English was only 17 years old. The other one was 19, and the other guys were in their early 20s. OLD, huh? They were pretty cool, and one of the older dudes was pretty, uh… hunky. They’re pretty good looking dudes. I wouldn’t survive in Sweden, I tellya.
Anyway, they’re working their way up the coast, and are heading back to Cape Town soon, and they want to connect with me [again]. Pretty neat. I found out that my boss got some cash for lending me to them. Kinda makes me feel like a slave – hehehe. He reckons this could be a big kinda thing – taking tourists on surfaris. So I told him to pay for me to get a driver’s [license]. He’s thinking about it. Hey, can you imagine being paid for surfing? They drove past this one beach, Llandudno, which has a wicked shore break. These dudes only had shorty wetties, with short arms and legs, and 2 ml neoprene. Hehehehe. They shat themselves when they dove into that icy Atlantic water. I don’t think the ice pools in Sweden are that cold.
Saturday night, Mark and Carol spent the night together alone. Steph and I went to the movies, and then had some pizza and beer afterwards. We ran into Wingnut and Candy and some of their friends. They’ve got a good group together – full of shit – all of them. Wingnut tells all of his mates that I’m his older brother. He’s obviously like the main man in the group. I guessed a long time ago, though, that he had natural leadership qualities. A lot of his mates look up to him, and it’s not just cos he’s taller than most of them. He’s got a bigger dick. That I’m damn sure of. I also think that all of them are trying to move in on Candy. Wingnut’s got some serious fisties [fights] ahead of him if that’s the case. Not that I think any of his mates would dare stand up to him.
Sunday morning, Steve woke me up early. And I mean early. He and a few buds were going around to Long Beach for an early morning session. We totally raved. It was wild. Besides the shit that was being smoked in the car, the surf was totally glassy. I had a bitching session. There was only one other local in the water, and the four of us. We left the beach at about 0930 when the crowds started arriving. They dropped Steve and me off at my place. Steve wanted breakfast, so I just threw some eggs and toast together, and made some for my folks at the same time. My dad asked me if it was Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or something. Jeez.
After we ate, Steve hadta jet because he was connecting with some chick he’d met at a rave, and they were gonna spend the day together. He thinks this is the love of his life. YEAH, STEVE! RIGHT!
Spent Sunday going through my cupboards [wardrobe/closet]. Mark has this thing that every single shelf and drawer in his cupboards are like something out of Mary Poppins. His ts are all folded neatly and packed neatly on one shelf. He does the same with his shorts. His briefs are even all folded in a drawer, with another drawer for socks. His button-up shirts hang on hangers. His jeans are folded on a shelf, and his chinos, cargos and smart pants are on hangers. SO…
My cupboard now looks the same. You should’ve seen the look my mom gave me when she saw that.
Then I put a blank tape in [my recorder] and taped all my favorite songs for Mark. The first song on the tape is ‘Shallow Waters’ by Just Jinger. The song is gonna have some other special meaning now. Here are the first three verses and you can see what I mean:
I’m leaving tomorrow and I don’t know why.
There’s something that’s not right with my soul.
I have no goal, I have no goal.
I’m leaving shallow waters,
I’m leaving all my dreams of you.
I can’t go on. I want to run away.
I think I’ll go today, tomorrow.
Well, it won’t help me at all. It won’t help me at all.
There’s something that I told you, and you don’t know
That it’s true. Oh, that it’s true now.
Mark met me for coffee on Monday morning. Hey, G, I’ve been good. I was really trying hard not to get miserable. It was good, though. Mark was really hyped.
He gave me this really evil grin. “Hey, buddy, I hope you don’t mind.”
“I took Carol up to your spot on the mountain yesterday.”
“No. That’s cool.”
“This whole thing [about my leaving] isn’t easy on her or me, and it was good to be there to chat. I told her that it was your place. It’s weird. I could feel you up there with us. I could see your house from up there and I was wondering what you would be up to.”
“That’s pretty fucking spesh. You were thinking of me?”
“Yeah, I was.”
“Cool. You’re gonna miss her, huh.”
“Her and you. Yeah. I’m gonna miss her a lot, but it’s best to do it this way. Carol has always made me feel king of the world. She taught me how to make love, and I guess you taught me how to love.”
“I could teach you more if you had to hang around [here in Cape Town].”
“Don’t push your luck – hehehe. We said our goodbyes up there.”
When we left the coffee shop, Mark promised to phone me, and he did. It was just a ‘hi, howzit’ phone call but it was special that he took time out to think about it.
Monday night I was fucking miserable. It just came out of nowhere. One minute I was eating my dinner with my folks and the next I felt this lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes, and I hadta leave the table. My folks left me alone cos they know that I’m having a tough time with Mark leaving. I must’ve gone to sleep by 9 or something to thereabouts.
Tuesday morning I got to the coffee shop really early. Mark arrived. Switch on plastic smile.
“It’s not working this morning, Code.”
“Your eyes are watering.” We just sat there saying nothing while we drank our coffee. And then: “Want to spend the night?”
“Want to spend the night in my little garden flat?”
“You know the answer to that. You got two beds in there?”
“Nope. One single.”
“Oh, fuck. So it’s the hard floor.”
“What about your boss and his wife?”
“They’re leaving this morning for Saldanha Bay to have a look at someone’s yacht.”
“Will you do me a fav?”
“Come home with me this arvie after work, just to say goodbye to my folks. They’ll like that.”
“I’d like that, too.”
Work on Tuesday was the pits. That convo [with Mark] should’ve made me light up but, if anything, it just screwed me up. Mark met me after work and we took the train home. I could see the surf was flat with just a low swell.
“I want to show you something really special. Grab my dad’s stick. We’re going surfing.”
“I haven’t got a wetsuit. I’ll freeze my nuts off out there.”
“I’ll leave my wettie behind as well. It’ll be cool.”
“Fucking cold is more like it.”
Mark wore a paira my boardies and it reminded me of Wingnut cos they only just managed to stay up there [on his hips]. [Mark’s hips must be very narrow cos I’ve got a pair of Cody’s Speedos that are labeled ‘S’ for small. MrB] We paddled out to behind the swell and then sat on our boards.
“There’s no surf here, Cody, which is just as well or I’d get trashed.”
“I knew there was no surf. I wanted to show you another one of my happy places.”
“I always knew that you loved this place, anyway.”
“Yeah, I know. But I wanted you to share it with me for a short while. Just listen.”
We never said anything, and just listened to the tiny break on the beach, and the gulls. [After the pause]. “You haven’t said when you’re leaving.”
“I was going to tell you tonight. I’m leaving tomorrow, Cody. Catching a bus after work.”
“Tell me you’re coming back one day … please.”
“I’d like that. You know that. I’m not sure what’s going to happen, Cody. I’m shit scared.”
“You’re gonna miss the surf, too.”
We both laughed when he said: “Yeah, ‘cept I can’t surf for shit. This is your domain.”
We didn’t hang around when we got home. Mark said his goodbyes to my folks, and my mom was even full of tears. My dad even gave him a hug. Hehehe – poor guy. I put my toothbrush into the side pocket of my cargos. Then my dad said he would give us a lift. That was cool cos catching a train in the dark [at night] sucks rocks.
I saw for the first time where Mark was staying. I thought it was somewhere in Cape Town itself but it turns out he was at this huge place in Camps Bay, a really larny [upmarket] suburb. The grounds were helluva big, and they have this massive fancy kidney-shaped pool, and the whole garden is like a tropical paradise. The grounds are more like a park, with palm trees and lights all over.
Mark’s “little flat” is like a larny little miniature house with all the gadgets. The small kitchen is like fully-fitted with a counter [dining bench] and high seats [stools], and the shower and toilet are not that tiny, either. The sitting room had a TV and a couch, with two easy chairs. The bedroom was also quite spacious. His boss must be fucking loaded.
Mark put together a chicken casserole for supper. Hehehe. He should be a fucking chef. The way he prepares food is just the way he is – everything is perfect. We drank a coupla beers while the food was in the oven.
“Hey, Cody. Fuck, dude, we’re on our own. Let’s get naked and swim.”
Hey, I didn’t need another invite. We both scarpered our naked asses across the lawn and dove in. [But] not before I watched as Mark pulled his stomach right in as he undid the top button of his jeans. Mark grabbed me first, and we wrestled, not giving a total fuck where our hands were touching, and we both had total roaring boners when we eventually sat on the steps [of the pool].
I was enjoying myself too much to be miserable [so I got back into the pool while Mark sat on the steps]. I hung with my arms over Mark’s shins in the water, and his leg muscles and sixpack bulged as he lifted me up slightly. I put my hands on his thighs and it felt like solid steel.
“This is what I’m gonna miss – just being able to touch you.”
“Hey, don’t start making yourself miserable. I’m going to miss feeling you touch me.”
“Just lean back for a sec. I needta check something.”
Mark leaned back on his elbows, and I lifted his legs over my shoulders, and opened my mouth as wide as possible. I took both his nads in, and felt them jump on my tongue. Mark’s breathing was heavy and loud. I started to speak with my mouth full of his nads, and it came out like ‘mmmmmfffppphhhheemnenaheheh’.
“Hehehe. Oh, jeez!" *He was laughing his tits off and groaning at the same time*. “Stop talking with your mouth full.”
So I let them go and swam backwards into the center of the pool. “OK.”
“What the fuck am I going to do with you, Cody?”
“Whatever you like.”
He slid into the water and glided over to me. Then I felt his strong arms wrap around me, and he pulled me right up close and held me tight. “I don’t know what you’ve done to me, Cody, but I love you. I don’t always show it, but I do. I know you’re not going to believe it but I am going to miss you. I’m going to miss this – being with you.” His one hand went on to my butt and pulled me in close to him so [that] our boners were kissing. I was feeling pretty choked up, but I behaved - for him. I pulled his face away [from mine] and he looked at me. “For a hunk, you’re a pretty ugly dude.”
“Speak for yourself – with all those ugly bumps all over your body, and especially your stomach and chest.”
“But you taste good.”
He put his mouth on mine, and I opened [it] to allow his tongue access. I can’t remember for how long we kissed. My fingers went through his thick hair. Then we just held each other again and spoke about each other. I can’t remember anything [about what we said] cos my mind was working in advance.
After a while we got out of the pool and walked across the lawn, and Mark grabbed my hand and squeezed it. Our boners were bouncing along as we went, and Mark wasn’t thinking about it at all.
We put on some shorts for supper. Mark lent me a pair of his thin cotton gym shorts, which were cool cos even though the waist was tight, my dick could breathe. We sat and ate casserole and laughed. We started talking about swim tours and hiking, and all the hundreds of things we did together. We spoke about Wingnut and Candy, and the girls, and Steve. Mark asked me more and more about the relationship [I had] with Paul, and how far we’d gone.
“You and Paul were helluva close, so I’ve got a question, and you don’t need to answer it, Code.”
*Mark started blushing bright red*. “Did you and Paul ever go further than just blowing each other?”
“When he came down [to Cape Town] for my 18th, we did. Hey, I know I can tellya stuff now. But, yes, Paul and I went the whole nine yards. Before your brain starts playing games, it was very special to both of us.” He was quiet for a little while. “You hassled by that?”
“It’s weird but I’m not. And I think it’s got something to do with your relationship with Paul. I’m not going to be your judge, Code. It’s not the sort of thing I can even imagine properly. But then a lot has changed about me and my whole attitude to the way you do things.” [Pause]. “You look like you’re in deep thought.”
“Hey.” *My eyes were fucking starting to water again*. “I think I’ve been pretty good. Don’t you think? About you leaving and all. The fact is, I don’t know what I’m going to do once you leave. I guess time is gonna take care of things like they did when Paul left, but I’m really battling to handle people leaving in my life. It’s not just that I love you, Mark, I’m in love with you. It’s a huge difference. Hehehe. I’m not handling this well now, huh?”
“You’ve made me really fucking aware of how I must look to people, Cody. Are you sure you’re not just in love with what you see? I don’t want it to sound like it’s cheap or anything – but there is a difference. If I was in love with you, I’d be thinking of spending the rest of my life with you. You need to understand why that can’t happen. At the same time, I want you to know that you’ve got this huge part of my heart that nobody can ever take away.”
“I know that I can’t have you forever.”
“I’m also pretty proud of you, buddy. I know how hard this has been for you. It’s hard enough for me. But I know that you’ve you’ve been working on your smiley face for my benefit. What I feel for you is very different to the way I’ve ever felt about anybody.”
After we finished eating, we both washed up the dishes and cleaned up. Then we sat and had some wine. Mark was staring at me with one of those Marky ‘whatsup’ smiles.
“Hehehehe. I’m just thinking.”
“So tell me.”
“Just all sorts of shit. Stupid stuff.”
“Fuck, Mark! I’m gonna hit you if you don’t tell me.”
“OK. How did it taste?”
“Hey, it was good. But you’ve always been able to cook. That’s why I wanta marry you – so you can keep house and cook.”
“Hehehe, fuck you, Cody. The other stuff?”
“All your food is good.”
“Ah, forget it.”
“What? Am I missing something here? C’mon, level with me.”
“My cum. Fuck, OK. So there, I said it. How did my cum taste?”
I sat there and couldn’t believe he’d asked that question. “How does [your] juice taste? It was good. Strong. I loved it. You’re gonna have to bottle the stuff and send it [to me] from Johannesburg. Mine?”
“This convo is getting weird.”
“Hey, fuck. Relax. It’s just us.”
“It tasted weird. I couldn’t do what you do. Like swallow the stuff.”
“There’s this story about this dude on the web. Daniel. He’s also a teen. He and his buddies juice their pizzas and then eat them.”
“Kak!” *Pronounced ‘kuk’, and it means ‘shit’*.
“But it’s just a story, right?”
“I did that with Paul once. Or was it twice? Not sure.”
“How fucking gross is that?”
“Actually, it wasn’t that gross. And it’s full of protein.”
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Codeman Part 116