It must've been way after midnight as the general convo began to degenerate as a result to too much beer. There was lots of loud, adolescent laughing, though, so everybody was in a cool mood -- that was, except for Josh -- he'd gone strangely quiet for some reason. When I saw him discreetly leave the group and sit on a rock close to the shore, I followed him and sat alongside. "What's the prob, Josh?" I asked before taking another swig of beer.
He stared thoughtfully at the water for a while before answering. "Well, it all happened so fast, I forgot about... well, about being safe."
"You mean AIDS?"
"You're right. It did happen fast... but it always does with us. And you know why? 'Cause we made a rule -- we don't fuck around outside of the group."
"But you did with me."
"You're a... I mean, were a virgin."
"You've only got my word for that."
I suddenly freaked, and felt the blood drain from my face. A cold shiver ran down my spine. "You mean you aren't -- weren't?"
"I could've lied," he shrugged. "You guys could be lying. How can any of us be sure?"
"Hey, man, you really know how to fuck up a party. You've got me freaking big time now."
"Chill, Daniel, you don't have to worry about me. I wasn't lying. I was a virgin -- and I've never had a blood transfusion or anything like that."
"Whoa! I'm glad to hear that! Jeez! And we're all clean, too. We have this rule -- if we fuck around outside of the group, we either use a condom or we tell each other about it."
"Why don't you use condoms in the first place?"
"I can't speak for the others, man, but I hate the fucking bastards. It's like you don't trust the other guy -- and trust is an important part of our friendship. We're all really close, and it's the closeness that makes it special when we have sex. Lemme put it this way, sex comes naturally to us -- we don't have any hangups about it."
"You can fucking say that again," he grinned.
"And, to me, a condom takes away the naturalness -- the spontaneity. It's like some dude who won't allow you into a club 'cause you're not wearing a tie. Are you with me? I mean, if I had to wear a tie to get into some club, I'd tell 'em to fuck off."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. My folks dress up like fucking royalty every time they go out somewhere. It's like they're afraid to be themselves -- they're always hiding behind their expensive clothes. "Oh, Madeline, darling! It's so wonderful to see you again!" And my mom hates Madeline."
I'd only just taken a sip of beer when Josh's mimicry caused me to crack, and I sprayed the beer all over the place. "Do you ever go nude at home?"
"Are you kidding? No way, dude! And you're gonna tell me that you do, right?"
"All the time. The guys are always skinny dipping at my place, and I skinny dip at theirs. It's like no biggie. Sometimes we're even in the kitchen while mom's cooking or whatever, and she doesn't mind at all."
"Is she nude, too?"
"No," I laughed. "She's got too much class for that."
"Which means you don't have?"
"We're teens, man. Teens aren't supposed to behave like adults. It's like my step-dad says, you're an adult for a fucking long time, so enjoy being a teen while you can."
"Sounds totally cool. I wish my folks thought like that."
"You're a cool looking guy, you know that? I'm surprised you don't have more fun."
"You mean like sex? Hey, Daniel, you're forgetting something. OK? I've got an image to live up to -- rich folks, 'arranged' friends, a certain level of behaviour -- all that lamo shit."
"So, why don't you rebel?"
"Do you? Lemme answer that for you. You don't have to rebel 'cause there's nothing to rebel against. Your folks are cool, your buds are cool. It's all laid out for you on a fucking silver platter -- or maybe a stainless steel platter -- you guys probably don't have any silver. You can be yourself 'cause it's easy for you."
"So what are you gonna do? Live in a fucking closet for the rest of your life?"
"And get married to that girl your folks arranged for you?"
"But what about your own life?"
"It's all mapped out, dude. The career, the marriage, the house, the kids... everything down to the last fucking detail."
"And you're gonna go along with the plan?"
He gazed at the lapping waves for a few moments. "Well, I'm not so sure now... at least, not since I met you guys. I'd never realized that guys like you actually existed. I thought it was all just some fantasy of mine -- y'know, like wishful thinking."
"You're still only half a virgin, Josh," I said, changing the topic.
"You haven't fucked anybody yet. Who do you wanna fuck? Me?"
"My beer's empty."
"I'll get you another one. Mine's dead, too. Back in a sec. Don't move."
The other guys wanted to know what Josh and I had been discussing, so I told them it was private. "Yeah, private," Steve laughed. "Your fucking boner's practically hugging your gut."
"And yours isn't?" I glanced at Paul and Benny. "You've all got fucking boners, so don't gimme any of that bullshit."
"Time for another piss," Steve said, struggling to his feet. "I think I'll piss on Josh."
"Now's not a good time, bro." I grabbed Steve's arm. "Maybe later. Go piss on Paul or Benny."
"K, man. Chill. It's no biggie."
By the time I'd arrived back at the rock and handed Josh his beer, I looked over my shoulder to see Steve waving his cock around and drenching the other two guys. They were all cracking up something wicked, so I figured they were pretty much outa their trees. But they were having fun.
Josh pulled the ring tab on the can, then took a sip. "This stuff makes you wanna piss like crazy," he laughed, then became kinda serious. "Y'know something?" His brown eyes were fixed on mine. "When I pissed on you, it was like I was your equal. In a weird way, it was like I was pissing on all the shit that's been my life -- the stuff I was telling you about -- the social noose around my neck. And you know something else? While I was watching my piss splashing all over your chest and face, I was imagining my mom and dad watching -- and my girlfriend. And I was thinking, "Check this out! Cool, huh?"
"Yeah. I guess that sounds weird to you."
"Not really. I think I know what you mean. Anyway, I'm glad it loosened you up. Now, back to what we were talking about before."
"You mean what you were talking about."
"You don't wanna fuck me? Or the other guys? Is that what you're saying?"
"You wanna know the truth? It fucking scares me to death."
"Not sure. Maybe it's 'cause I've never done it before. Maybe it's 'cause I won't know how to do it properly. Maybe it's 'cause you'll laugh at me. I dunno. Not sure."
"K, well lemme tell you something, Josh. And listen up. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. It's as simple as that. All the shit you do at home is 'cause your folks and other people make you feel obligated. Sex shouldn't be like that. You shouldn't feel as if you have to do it 'cause of some pressure or whatever. It should be 'cause you wanna, and for no other reason."
Once again, Josh stared at the lapping waves for a few moments before speaking. "You're the coolest person I've ever met, Daniel. I feel so fucking comfortable. Y'know? It's like everybody in the world should be like you."
I cracked totally. "Whoa, man! That's the last thing we all need -- five billion of me. Nah, the world's a much more interesting place with a few Joshs. It's been way cool meeting you. Gives me something to think about."
"If I did do something like that, I mean, y'know, serious stuff," he asked as his innocent, brown eyes searched my face, "I mean if -- would it be in private?"
"If that's the way you wanted it. Sure."
"Well, I'm not saying I would or anything -- just if -- 'cause I wouldn't want the other guys to see me fuck up, OK?"
"It's your decision, man. No pressure. Anyway, do you feel better now?"
"Yeah, much. Thanks. There's just one thing."
He raised himself to full height, beer can in hand, and faced me.
"Oh, no! Not that! Go piss on the other dudes!"
"Just once more? Please? I won't ask again, I promise. It's just that it makes me feel do damn free!"
"OK. Just once more. That's it." I'd no sooner finished my sentence than his warm jet of piss hit my chest. I closed my eyes in anticipation of getting a faceful and, sure enough, I did, but I didn't open my mouth the way Paul liked to. Actually, I was pretty peaced out 'cause of the beer, so it was cool to let Josh have his way. In any case, I was the one who'd talked him into loosening up in the first place. When he was done, and had flicked the last few drops from his knob, I glanced over to the beach. The other guys had flaked, and were scattered over the sand like so many dead bodies, sound asleep.
"You wanna piss on me now?"
Josh was more like Paul in that he wanted me to stand over him and piss straight into his mouth while he ran his hands over my abs and chest. As I watched my torrent overflow and bubble out of his mouth, then form a waterfall that cascaded off his chin, I thought about what Josh had said earlier, about the guys and I being different to other dudes. Yeah, I guessed we were. But what the fuck? "Let's go wash."
We slid into the bay and swam around for a bit until Josh had maneuvered himself behind me. I felt his hands on my shoulders, and knew instinctively what was on his mind. This was gonna be his big moment.
Without saying a word, I allowed him to follow his natural urges as I stood waist deep in the black, shimmering water. His hands slid off my shoulders and ran down my chest -- his boner was pressed hard against my ass crack.
"It's cool, man. Go ahead. But take it slow."
As he gripped my pecs and nibbled on my ear, his throbber found my hole and began to enter me. "How big are you?"
"Feels like a fucking train!"
"Do you want me to stop?"
"You do and I'll break your arms."
Pretty soon, the dude was pumping my ass like there was no tomorrow, while squeezing my pecs and sinking his teeth into my neck. Most of the muffled grunting noises he was making were coming out of his nostrils, which were jetting blasts of hot air just behind my ear. Whoa! This was one excited dude!
Suddenly, his crotch rammed my buns, causing a series of ripples to scatter over the surface of the water. I could feel his throbber become even stiffer as it exploded its first wad of boy juice. From then on, he pumped like a teen possessed, sending his two balls' worth of sticky jelly deep inside me with each and every thrust. His groans must've travelled across the still night air to every corner of the bay.
Finally, after having spent his awesome load, he wrapped his arms around my chest and allowed his meat to get lazy inside me. All was quite again, the only sound coming from the lapping of the small waves against the shore. "Daniel?"
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Diary Part 101