The manager of the pizza restaurant joined a number of tables so that we could all sit together -- with Jimothy at the head. He was obviously on a post-concert high, 'cause his grin was wider than a Cheshire cat's. "He's totally awesome," Lindy yelled above the noise from across the table. "How come you never told me about him?"
"'Cause he's a virgin," I laughed.
"Are you saying that I'm a threat to male virgins?" she pouted. "Besides, mine's still intact, too, y'know."
Greg blushed immediately, and didn't quite know how to react to Lindy's public confession. He was relieved when ten, large pizzas arrived at once and diverted everybody's attention. "Which one's the seafood?" "How come the Hawaiian's up the other end of the table?" "Is this the supreme with double thingy?" "Where's the Mexicana?" The table was a flurry of arms and hands as over twenty people searched for their fav pizza. Even mom threw decorum to the wind as she leaned across three other people to retrieve a slice of Napoletana. It was totally wicked to see everybody eating, laughing and talking.
When all but a few slices of pizza remained, mom rose from her chair, holding a glass of wine. "Could I have everybody's attention, please?" It took a few moments, and bit of rib-digging down the line before the hubub subsided. "I'd like to propose a toast, so please charge your glasses with whatever you're drinking. I know that you're all expecting me to propose a toast to our esteemed and talented guest, Jimothy, but I'll leave that honor for Daniel. When I look around this table at all the happy faces, I can't help thinking about how fortunate we all are to know each other. There's a lot of love at this table, and the amazing thing about love is that you can never have too much of it. Even more amazing is that love is inexhaustible. You can give it, and give it, and give it, and there's still plenty more where that came from. That was something I learned when Andy and Greg joined our family. The love that I've always given my son wasn't diminished by the love that I now give to my new husband and son, whom I adore. I found within myself an inexhaustible supply of love. And when I look around at you all, I can see the love being transmitted from one end of this table to the other, as well as across it. Love is a difficult thing to explain or describe in words. We can see it, we can feel it, we're very aware of its presence. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Yes, there are many aspects of love, too many for words alone to adequately express. If you were to ask a poet to describe love, he'd give you fifty pages of text. If you were to ask Daniel, he'd say, "it's way cool, mom." Everybody cracked big time, and it was a full minute before mom could continue. "Aldous Huxley said: 'After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.' Jimothy is very fortunate to have that gift. But in our own way, we all have it. There's music in the way we talk, in the way we walk, in the way we tilt our head or smile. There's music in our eyes. Would you agree with that, Jimothy?"
"Absolutely, Nancy," he replied enthusiastically as he stood. "I guess I've always known what you're saying, but I'd never quite put it into words. When I write a song, I try to capture in music and words those very things you're talking about -- the way a person moves, or looks, or speaks -- the emotions that surface in you because of an experience or a relationship. Music is about the only form of communication that can adequately…"
"A simple yes or no answer would have sufficed, Jimothy. This is my speech." Everybody fell about in hysterics as mom pretended to be serious. "You can sit down now, Jimothy," she smiled after the laughter had subsided. "Well, I suppose I've gone on longer than I'd anticipated… so let me propose a toast to us all… and to love, that wonderful, inexplicable thing that binds us like no other force, and brings us so much joy." We all raised our glasses, then touched those within range. "Here's to us!"
Well, I hadn't planned on proposing a toast to Jimothy, but mom kinda roped me into it 'cause of her speech. There was absolutely nothing in my head as I rose from my chair, and lifted my glass of Pepsi. "There's no way I'm gonna say anything as rad as mom did," I began. "Fact is, I dunno what the hell I'm gonna say." Then, magically, words started to form in my brain. "I know some people who can't understand what cyber friendships are all about. One dude I know calls them 'virtual' friends, like they're not real. Well, I've got a 'virtual' friend sitting right alongside me and, as you can all see, he eats pizza just like the rest of us. When Jimothy first wrote, he was kinda goofy -- a lot different to other guys -- not better or worse, just different. He had a knack for writing like he talks -- and he often had me in stitches. I figured there was something pretty special about this dude but, back then, I didn't know how special. Tonight, I found out -- all of us did. Well, some of us found out at this afternoon's rehearsal," I laughed, and hoped nobody would ask for details. "Anyway, I'm not sure of what I'm trying to say here, 'cept that if it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't have met Jimothy, or a bunch of other totally cool friends. But the dude who thinks it's all 'virtual' doesn't understand that. Don't ask me why. Maybe he'll change his mind one day. All I know is that I'm right next to an awesome dude who blew me away tonight at the concert, and before that at rehearsal. Hey, he blew me away when he parked in our drive at home, and before that with his email. Am I giving this guy a swelled head? I'm not meaning to. Y'know, sometimes it's important to let somebody know how you feel. Heck, I do it with my dog Kyle all the time, and he does it with me. We don't have hangups about that kinda sh… stuff. And I guess we've all thought about what mom said about love, and that love is something all kinds of people can share without ripping each other's clothes off. Sorry. That kinda slipped out. But you know what I mean. I guess I'm too young to really understand all the stuff mom talks about, but that doesn't mean I don't believe her. When I'm older, I figure I'll remember all the things she said and nod my head. 'Mom was so damn right,' I'll say. Anyway, I don't know what the f… hell I'm talking about here. I just wanna say that when a dude like Jimothy comes into your life like outa nowhere, he makes a helluva diff. And if there's one thing I do know, it's this: we're all a little piece of each other. There's a little bit of me in you, and there's a little bit of you in me. That doesn't make us clones of each other. It just means that we influence each other. I wouldn't be the dude I am if it weren't for you guys. I'm kinda getting lost here. Am I making sense?" There was no point in saying another word. The applause was so fucking loud, nobody could've heard me, anyway. Then everybody stood while they kept clapping. Whoa! What the fuck had I said?
You could've heard a pin drop when Jimothy stood. He eyeballed everybody at the table before he spoke. "A lotta cool words have been spoken here tonight -- words I never thought I'd hear -- and in a situation I'd never anticipated. When I drove down here, I figured it would be cool for Daniel and a few of his friends to see me perform. I didn't think half the damn town would turn up, let alone this -- all you guys at this table. As for a swelled head, no. Just the opposite. This is a very humbling experience. I've been made welcome at Daniel's house, and I've had the honor of meeting his friends and being accepted like I was a native Tampon. [Everybody cracked]. Well, I'm not sure what you call a person from Tampa. Tampanese? Tamponian? Doesn't matter. Anyway, the point is, I'm on a high like you wouldn't believe. I think you have to understand where I'm coming from as a performer. When I perform, it's not like I wanna show off -- well, I guess I do, " he laughed. "But it's more than that. It's something inside of me that I wanna share. Y'know? It's like something really cool happens to you and, straight away, you wanna go tell everybody. That's what it's like when I perform. It's like I'm the bearer of good news. It's like I've got something that will make everybody feel good. It's like I'm Santa Claus. Hey, lemme tell you something. When you're standing on a stage and you look at all those happy faces, it's the bomb. Totally. There's nothing to compare with that. Nancy called my talent a gift. She's right. It is a gift. But it's not a gift you keep for yourself. It's a gift you wanna share -- need to share. There's no way I could keep this thing inside of me. It's gotta come out. And you know something? Daniel's the same. Maybe he's not a musician, but he shares himself around and makes us all feel good -- warm and fuzzy. It's the same thing, 'cept he's not on a stage -- well, not a stage that you can see. Lemme tell you something else. When I met Daniel on the net, and started writing him, he taught me things -- things about myself that were kinda hidden. But, through him, they surfaced -- and not only surfaced, but shone! He's the kinda guy who inspires guys like me to write songs. So, in a way, it's a collaborative effort, even if he is unaware of that. I mean, a view that inspires an artist doesn't need to know that it's the catalyst for the inspiration. That's not the point. The point is the end result, which is the painting or the song or the poem. And in this case, it's our friend, Daniel." Jimothy raised his glass. "Let's drink to our special bud. He's a little bit of us, and we're a little bit of him."
Well, so much for being the invincible, macho showoff. As everybody rose from their seats, I sat there like a red-faced dork while they all sang "for he's a jolly good fellow…" What the fuck was I supposed to do? Agree? Damn! I'd never been so lost for words in all my life.
"What a totally rad night," Jimothy sighed as he collapsed onto the spare bed, then suddenly raised himself on one elbow. "Hey! We didn’t get any photos!"
"Freddie's folks had a camera. He's got a scanner, too."
"Cool! Wow, what a night, Daniel! That's gonna live with me forever."
"Lemme check for email. I sent a note to Kyle yesterday. Do you know him?"
"The guy with the web page? Kinda. We write some. He's bloody awesome."
you lucky fuck - havin Jimothy there withya. bet youve been smellin his armpits the whole damn time. i needta askya somethin - didya jack off over me when i was sleepin at your place as well? its no damn wonder i was sticky the whole time.
hey dude - i cant believe that Jimothy is actually there withya - hes like a hero - and singin the daniel song as well - how lucky can a person get. not thatya dont deserve it. i hope that Jimothy brought his steel underwear with a padlock - cos if he knew what i know then youre gonna be into his furniture every damn nite.
so tell me tell me - how does he taste huh? aaaggghhh! damn i cannot believe how lucky you are. actually Jimothys quite lucky as well - how does he handle it? does he swallow - cmon daniel - give me all the fuckin details - I WANT ALL THE DETAILS. is he smooth all over? what do his pubes smell like? ALL THE DETAILS - does he really say FUCK all the time?
hey bud - i missya stacks - hope we can get together again soon - i know its probly impossible but i really missya.
anyway - ive gotta jet - give Jimothy a suck for me.
cya - KOTCH!
Jimothy was so excited by the email that he insisted on replying on my behalf, and told Kyle all about everything that had happened, like the rehearsal and the actual concert. "And you won't believe this Kyle, but me and Daniel actually had a 69 last night! AND I SWALLOWED!" Then he went on about what my cum tasted like, and all that kinda shit. He had me rolling on the floor in hysterics. "He tastes kinda like a creamsicle with lots of salt." I had to pause occasionally, though, 'cause he was asking so many damn questions. "Kyle wants to know what my pubes smell like. So what do they smell like?" Then he'd wanna know what I thought of his armpits and a whole bunch of other stuff. "He says that my armpits rule." I might as well have written the fucking email myself! "And, yeah," Jimothy added with a PS, "I'm smooth all over."
"Hey," I said as Jimothy clicked 'send'. "Did you see what he wrote at the end?"
"You mean about you giving me a suck?"
"Tell me something, first. What did Kyle mean when he asked if you jacked over him when he was sleeping?"
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Diary Part 111