Over a barbecue lunch beside the pool, I was feeling a bit depressed about Jimothy being absent. I guessed it was pretty obvious to everybody that I was down, 'cause I wasn't saying much at all. "You really miss Jimothy," mom said during a lull in the convo.
"Yeah, he's such a way cool guy."
"And I'm not?" Paul complained.
"It's not that, you nerd. You're here and he's not."
"So if I weren't here, you'd miss me too?"
"Of course he would, Paul," mom interjected. "And you'd miss him."
"I don't get it," I shrugged. "Is this what life is supposed to be all about? People coming into your life, then leaving? Like Kyle and Jimothy have?"
"Let me explain something to you, Daniel." Andy sipped from his glass of white wine to wash down the piece of fish he'd just chewed. "It's important to think of the people in your life as teachers, like the teachers at your school. Next semester, you'll be in a different class with different teachers. Or would you rather repeat your last semester?"
"No, of course not."
"That's right. You'd prefer to move on, to take the knowledge you gained during your last semester and build on it during the next. Did you learn anything from Jimothy's visit?"
"Yeah, heaps. That's why I miss him."
"Then you're a richer person for the experience. Would you agree?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Well, that's what you need to focus on… not what you've lost, but what you've gained. Now you're ready to build on what Jimothy has given you as a 'teacher' and move on. The same goes for Jimothy. I'm sure he misses you too, but he's richer for having known you."
"Is that what you thought when your wife died?"
"Not straight away, of course. I was devestated by the loss -- and so was Greg. But I'm sure my son would agree with me that being grateful for the opportunity to have known her, and loved her, is what is ultimately important."
"Kinda like looking on the bright side."
"More than that, Daniel. Y'see, Greg and I have a responsibility to share what she taught us with you, Nancy, Paul and all our other friends. That's my first wife's legacy, and it would be criminal to waste it. The kind of people we are today is significantly due to her influence. It's the same with all of us. We all influence each other to varying degrees. Would you agree that you're a different person as a consequence of having met Paul?"
Images of the j/o club at school, and the fight I'd had with Paul and Freddie, flashed through my mind. "Yeah, I guess. But I don't wanna give him a swelled head."
"And how about you, Paul? Has Daniel influenced you?"
"Yeah, a stack. He's the coolest dude I know, and I don't have to worry about giving him a swelled head 'cause he's already got one -- big time!"
Everybody cracked, including me. Then Greg agreed that I'd influenced him a ton, too. Heck, when I thought about it, Andy was right. There was no way I could've been the same person without knowing Kyle or Greg or Paul or Jimothy or Dick or any of the other guys. "Thanks, Andy. I feel better now. But I still miss Jimothy."
"Of course, you do. And you'd be some kind of heartless person if you didn't. Just remember to temper your losses with your gains. It's called balance, and that's what life is all about -- balance."
The rest of the afternoon was spent fooling around in the pool. Greg, Paul and I were nude as usual, and Kyle insisted on dog-paddling around and getting in everybody's way, but that was cool. Dogs were supposed to behave like dogs, and I figured that's why humans liked them so much. Absolutely nothing could be more natural than a dog. Dogs ruled.
There were moments when I thought about Jimothy and wished like hell that he were here goofing off with the rest of us, but then I'd remember what Andy had said. Yeah, I was richer for the experience, and I consoled myself in the knowledge that I was one lucky fucker to have met him in the first place.
When it came time for Paul to leave, I walked him home and took Kyle with us. Mom had always insisted that I leash the dog, but as soon as I was outa sight of the house, I'd let the guy run free to sniff everything in sight and do his doggy thing. "Your mom's gonna kill you if she finds out," Paul said.
"Kyle's not gonna tell her."
"Are you saying that I will?"
"Nope. Anyway, I know Kyle better than mom does. Watch this." I whistled and, sure enough, the large ball of black and white fur with its long, red tongue hanging from the side of its mouth came bounding back to join us. "Y'see? He's totally cool. He doesn’t need a leash."
"He's very faithful."
"That's 'cause I leave it to him to make that choice. Right now he's free to run away if he wants to. But he won't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I dunno exactly. Maybe it's a trust thingy."
After dinner, Greg asked me to come to his room 'cause he was having some prob with his comp. "You need to update your browser, man," I suggested. "Yours freaks 'cause it can't handle Java. What were you surfing, anyway? How come you've got a boner?"
"Don't worry about that, now. That's not the only reason I wanted you to come to my room."
"So it's the boner?"
"Jeez, Daniel! Must you always be such a fucking tease?"
"Maybe you should try being a fucking tease for a change. I don't understand you, bro. You've got a totally outasight bod, yet you almost beg to be blown. Maybe that's what's wrong with straight guys. Maybe they underestimate what they've got. Maybe girls have got straight guys wrapped around their little fingers."
"What the fuck are you going on about?"
"Aren't you forgetting something? You've just spent the last few days with Jimothy."
"So like how the fuck am I supposed to compete with him?"
"You're not competing with him, you dumbfuck. Jimothy's Jimothy and you're you. Besides, don't you remember what Jimothy said about you at the breakfast table? That you're very good looking? Didn't you notice how he was gawking at you in the pool? Jeez! What does it take to get through that thick skull of yours?"
"You're right, straight guys don't think like gay guys. I don't think of my dick as something to tease other guys with. I just wanna stick it in a fucking hole."
"It's not just your dick, man. It's all of you. It's those chocolate eyes, and the long black hair, and your bronze skin, and the way you move -- not even Jimothy's music can compare with the way you move."
"You're fucking crazy."
"And you wouldn't have me any other way. So stop blabbing and tease me."
"It'd spoil it if I told you. Just do what you figure will turn me on and wanna suck your balls dry."
Greg rose from the comp chair, placed his hands on my shoulders and forced me to take a few steps backwards until I collapsed onto the bed in a seated position. Then he stood between my open legs, grabbed my blonde hair and pulled my face to his crotch. Jeez, it smelt wicked! Warm and spicy. "You wanna suck me?" he grinned.
"So suck me!"
"Not so fast, man. Turn around and gimme a look at that sweet, tight ass of yours."
"Then you'll suck me?"
My bro about faced and bent forward slightly so that his firm, golden cheeks parted, revealing his perfect rosebud. The temptation to tongue it was overwhelming, but I knew that if I did, he'd be pissed. "Bro," I said, "that is one helluva fucking beautiful ass you got. Woohoo!"
"You gonna blow me now?" he asked as he faced me again. There was a pearl of pre-cum glistening on his piss slit. Damn, it looked inviting.
"Tease me just a little bit more. Turn around again and lift one leg, then push your boner and balls between your legs."
"You call this teasing? You're the one who's teasing me, you fucker! You know I wanna get my rocks off!" He did as I asked, though, and I was soon looking at his smooth, spread globes with his wrinkled pinkie right in the center. Then he pushed his hangers and throbber down so that his nads draped across the base of his shaft. It was such a fucking wicked sight, I could've happily licked those awesome jewels until my tongue wore out. And the scent! Whoa! It filled my lungs and zapped my brain. "Is this the way you feel when a girl teases you?"
"Depends on how you feel. How do you feel?"
"Kinda floating -- like I wanna lick the fuck outa everything I'm seeing. Like I never want this to end."
"Well, I've got news for you," he laughed as he faced me again. "It's just ended. Time to blow me, bro."
I'd hardly gotten the words 'party pooper' out of my mouth when it was filled with his thick, hard six inches. His hands were holding the back of my head as he slid his monster in and out of my face. OK, it was an inch shorter than mine, but it was still one helluva piece of delicious boy meat.
I reached around and grabbed hold of his buns, then massaged them as he sent his swollen knob to the back of my throat, and his balls crashing to my chin. Whenever Greg got into a fucking rhythm, there was no stopping him. He was like a boy possessed -- a dude with nothing else on his mind but to offload a bucket of boy juice. It was OK with me, though. Hell, I was no different. But this time, he was a little more aggressive -- if that were fucking possible. I figured he must've been hanging real bad for a BJ.
His grip on my head tightened big time as he let out a long, faltering groan. I felt his dick harden like steel, then thump the roof of my mouth. Boy juice began to gather on my tongue, and its strong, salty flavor filled not only my mouth, but also my nose. I gulped as much as I could while his boner continued to explode, and his small patch of black pubes kept slamming into my face. Finally, after his tight balls had been emptied of the last of their tasty, creamy prize, I felt his body sag. "Oh, fuck," he sighed.
"Tell me something," I said as I squeezed his knob and licked the last of his juice, "did Lindy blow you over the weekend?"
"So how come you were so damn hot for a BJ from me?"
"It's the way you do it, Daniel. Maybe that's not right. Maybe it's the way I do it -- I mean, the way I do it to you. If I fucked Lindy's face the way I fuck yours, she'd probably go totally fucking ballistic. Know what I mean? I mean, I can fuck your face. It’s like you don't mind if I fuck the shit out of it." He paused to laugh. "I know that sounds kinda crazy, but, in a way, gay guys seem to like dicks more than girls do -- maybe that's not right either. Maybe…"
"I think I know what you're trying to say, bro. You're saying that when you fuck my face, you can really let go -- you don't have to worry about being gentle -- you can be totally fucking primal -- and I can fucking vouch for that! You fuck like a damn bull!"
"Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying. But it's not like I wanna hurt you, or abuse you, or anything like that. It's not that I don't respect you, or love you. It's just that you gimme a chance to go for it big time. Y'know? You gimme the chance to go the whole ten fucking yards. That's why you're so fucking awesome."
"Yeah, I know. Problem is, dude, you don't know how fucking awesome you are."
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Diary Part 114