After brushing our teeth, Paul and I went back to my room where I worked out for ten minutes with my chest expander. Paul was at the comp, taking a look at the pics I'd sent to Kyle after I'd met him on line.
"I wonder if Kyle still jacks off looking at these."
"'Course he does… though I figure he probably jacks off more thinking about Mark or Steve."
"Are you jealous?"
"Nope. Why should I be? He knows about me and you and Jason and Greg and… anyway, he knows about all the stuff I do."
"Not all of it… most of it."
"What do you do when you tease him?"
"Nothing too rad. I pissed in his kitchen sink once," I laughed, and had to stop exercising for a mo. "You should've seen the look on his face, man! Fucking priceless! I've brown-eyed him a few times, and let him gawk at my dick."
"So what does he do?"
"Freaks big time. I know he loves it, though. Hey, you wanna choose one of my pics and email it to him?"
"I dunno… just for fun."
"Maybe you should ask him first."
"Nah, he'd only say no. Pop's the kinda dude who yells 'stop' and hopes I'll ignore him. I guess he's worried about being thought of as a dirty old man or whatever."
"You think he is?"
"Nah. He's like a lotta folks. Like when a dude flashes his cock at ladies, and they cover their faces with their hands, but they leave a little gap so they can still gawk."
"Yep. Just like Greg accused me of."
"You gonna kiss me in the mall tomorrow?"
"No fucking way, dude. Anyway, you wouldn't do it either."
"I'm kinda tempted."
"Yeah, right. That'd be fucking suicidal, dude. That'd be like making some public statement. In any case, what we do or don't do is nobody else's fucking business."
"Are you afraid?"
I threw the chest expander on the bed, then sat on the side of the mattress. "Afraid? Yeah, I'm afraid. Can you imagine some of mom's friends, or your mom's friends, saying, "Oh, I saw Daniel and Paul hugging and kissing at the mall!" Can you imagine all the fucking questions we'd get asked? Can you imagine the shit going down at school? Man, we'd spend the whole fucking day fighting fights with homophobes. Hey, Paul, listen up. Just 'cause we do what we do doesn't mean we've gotta convert the whole fucking world."
"But straights hug and kiss in the mall. Hell, they do it on TV all the time, and in the movies. Are they trying to convert the whole fucking world? I don't think so. I think they're just doing what comes naturally. It's not like they're trying to prove anything."
"You think we wouldn't be trying to prove something if we hugged and kissed in the mall? C'mon, Paul. Get real. It'd be a stunt… not something that happened naturally."
"Yeah, I guess. But if it did happen naturally…"
"Forget it, Paul. If it happens, it happens. I'm not interested in making it happen just to satisfy Greg's curiosity or whatever. I don't need to make any fucking statement. I've got nothing to prove, one way or the other. I'm me. And that's that. Anyway, you gonna send Pop a pic of me or what?"
"The one that shows my pecs. He's a pec freak. Crop the pic, and edit my boner. Give it another name… danpecs."
"We should take a new pic. I brought dad's digital camera. It's in my bag. I didn't take it out tonight 'cause I thought Nick and Jason would freak."
"You've got the camera? Cool!" I grabbed the chest expander, and stood. "Take some pics of me working out. From the abs up… maybe a few blonde pubes… but no boner. We don't wanna give Pop fucking heart failure. K?"
Well, if I had any doubts about my being a showoff, they were banished as Paul assumed various camera angles, darting all over the place, framing, focusing, then pressing the shutter button.
"Jeez, Paul, how many fucking pics are you taking?"
"You said Pop was a pec freak, so I'm getting lots of close-ups. Raise your arms so I can get a shot of your pits."
"OK, I've got an idea. Let's do a few pose shots." I tossed the chest expander on the bed. "I'll make like those muscle dudes in Jason's mags."
"Nah… not like that, Daniel. Keep it natural. Just move naturally, and let your muscles do their thing. It looks better… sexier."
Ten minutes later, we were checking out the pics on the comp screen. "Hey, what is this? A close-up of my nipple?"
"Yeah, pretty cool, huh? It's fucking awesome. And here's one of your pit. I'll tell pop what it smells like… unless he already knows."
"Fuck off, Paul. He doesn't know." I watched as my bud clicked through the various pics, which featured shots of my biceps, lats, pecs, shoulders, abs, and whatever else. "Hey, if I didn't know that was me, I'd be getting way fucking horny. Woohoo! Do I really look that good?"
"Don't gimme the false modesty routine, Daniel. It doesn't suit you."
"Seriously… it's kinda weird looking at myself like this… y'know, like it's some other dude I'm gawking at. Awesome! I've never really seen myself broken up into parts before. Pop's gonna go totally troppo."
"He's not the only one." Paul arrived at the last pic, then turned to face me. "You're always talking about Dick being an Adonis, or Greg being a boy god, or Jason being the bomb, or whatever. Don't you realize that you're just as awesome as those guys, or maybe even more awesome?"
"Maybe. But I've got eyes that look out, dude. Check 'em out. I don't see me, I see them. Anyway, what makes you think you're not the dope?"
"You think I am?"
"Get real, Paul. You rock, and you know it. You're just fishing for fucking compliments."
"I've got eyes that look out, too, y'know. They see you."
"Hey, you were the dude who had your face buried between Greg's ass cheeks," I laughed.
"OK, so my eyes see other dudes as well, but they still see you. Anyway, I wanna know what you think of me. Describe me."
"Stand up." Paul obeyed as I sat on the bed, and eyed his tanned, slender, but muscular bod up and down. "Hmmm. OK, well I really dig your hair. Black rules. And it's shiny. And it smells way cool… kinda sweet. Hard to describe, but it's sexy. And you've got small ears. I've always thought they were kinda neat. And your nose rocks. You've got small, round nostrils. They're cute. And your eyes. Blue. But not just any kinda blue. Deep blue, like the ocean was when we visited Kyle in Cape Town. And I like the way your eyebrows kinda peak, then slope away. It's like you're always surprised about something. And your lips. They're full and red. It's wicked when you lick them, and make them wet. Kinda inviting. Your smile is awesome, too. Rows of white teeth. And your eyes kinda go like half-moons when you smile. It's totally cool when you laugh… kinda like music the way your voice breaks, and sounds like your voice hasn't matured yet. That enough?"
"No, I wanna hear more."
"Jeez, we're gonna be here all fucking night," I sighed. "OK. Well, your bod's not like mine or Jason's, 'cause he works out, but you've got all the muscles in the right places, 'cept they're not as big… but they're prominent, and defined. When you move, your whole bod ripples. It's wicked to watch… and helluva sexy."
"C'mon, Paul. Don't gimme crap. And I dig your pits. It's cool how your rich tan kinda turns into a creamy color when you raise your arms. They're like two private places… warm and scented."
"They turn you on?"
"You know they fucking turn me on, dammit. Now, do you wanna know more, or what?"
"Yeah. This is totally fucking cool. Keep going."
"Your nipples. They're kinda fleshy, like they wanna be sucked. Kyle once told me that he thought his nipples were pretty cool, and that he'd suck 'em if he could," I laughed. "But he was only joking. He's got wicked nipples, though… like yours. Brown and suckable. Juicy."
"What about my dick?"
"I was getting to that, you idiot. Chill! There's a guy on the net who told me that guys are cool 'cause they come with their own straw. That cracked me up totally. Anyway, I guess it's true… a straw to suck all the juice outa your hangers. Anyway, you've got a way cool dick 'cause of its shape. Same shape as any other dick, but it's still fucking awesome. Have you noticed how you can see a dick a million times but you still wanna see it again? Weird. Kinda mesmerizing. And you've got a cute, black bush… just the right size… and your balls are hairless, so I can lick 'em, and suck on 'em. And your butt. Woohoo! You wanna turn around?"
"What about my butt?" Paul asked as he about faced, and thrust his ass in my direction.
"You already know the deal, man. You're always climbing outa the pool, putting one foot on the edge, and hanging there for a while so I can get a good gawk."
"Like this?" Paul raised one foot and planted it on the comp chair.
"Yeah, like that. Wicked! Jeez! I'm gonna fuck your lights out tonight, man. Big time!"
"So tell me about my butt."
"Smooth. Soooo fucking smooth! Round and firm and just so damn fine. And the way your balls hang down, and kinda sway. Fucking hot!"
"But what about the bit in the middle?"
"I dunno what it is about assholes, dude. Greg's always telling me that assholes weren't meant to be attractive. Anyway, he didn't complain when you were tonguing his tonight. So there ya go."
"Describe it, dammit!"
"Pink and wrinkled."
"Sexy. Jeez, I dunno, Paul. What the fuck am I supposed to say? Pop said something about forbidden fruit. A private place that's about as private as you can get. So it's like I'm looking at something other people don't get to see. A special place reserved for special people. Sound cool to you?"
Paul turned around, and faced me again. "So what did Pop say when you brown-eyed him?"
"He didn't. He just went as white as a fucking sheet. Cracked me up something wicked."
"You like teasing him, huh?"
"Yeah… I guess I do. It's kinda like he's chained to a post, and he can't do anything. S'pose it's kinda cruel when you think about it. But it's fun."
"For you or him?"
"Both. You know when I told Greg that sex is a game? It's the same with me and Pop. I tease the fuck outa him, and he freaks. That's the game. We each have a role to play, like in the movies. I tease, he freaks. So I'm having fun, and he's having fun… even though he pretends to be shocked… which he is, but enjoys. Y'know? I guess it's like horror movies. We go 'cause we wanna be scared fucking shitless. Kinda like that."
"So long as it's not real."
"Yeah… I guess. You wanna send Pop the pics now?"
"You think he'll jack off when he sees them?"
"Dunno. But there's something you've gotta understand about Pop. In his eyes, I'm like some kinda miracle of Nature or whatever. There's more to his admiration for me… whoa! I just said 'admiration'! But it's true. He admires me kinda differently... not the same way you do, or the other guys do, or the way I admire you. Does that surprise you, Paul? Yeah, I admire you, but lemme finish before you start crapping on and on for fucking ever. It's like Pop sees in me something he once had, but lost. It's not like he's jealous or anything… it's like he's glad to see it in me, and that Nature hasn't forgotten to do its job. Does that make sense to you?"
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Diary Part 160