At break, Kyle and I were eating our lunch together as usual. It was becoming a ritual, like the gym in the mornings, and I was kinda getting comfortable with his company. I could talk to Kyle about stuff that wouldn't interest most other dudes, and I'd never experienced that kinda friendship before.
"Mom's going out with her boyfriend more often. I think it's great that she's going out. She's a lot happier these days. He doesn't like me too much, though. And the feeling is mutual."
"Just remember that you can come around to my place anytime you like. No need to ask. And it's better than sitting at home alone."
"Don't hassle. I've always got stuff to do at home, and it gives me a chance to rave to my music at full blast." On reflection, maybe that was a bit harsh, so I softened it. "Anyway, same thing applies. You can always come around to my place… any time."
"Hey, can I ask you something about you and Carol?"
"Do you eat her?"
"I think you've asked me that before, but not while I was eating a sandwich. Nope. And she hasn't asked. Why?"
"Dunno. I just thought with Steph blowing me, she might be expecting me to eat her out or something."
"Just use your finger on her if you're not into it. I've had Carol climax over and over just by using my finger. Then, when I get my dick in there, it makes her totally crazy."
"She always at the bottom?"
"Not always. The best is when I lay down and she sits on top of my dick. Or doggy style. Then I can play with her tits as well." I finished the sandwich with some difficulty, then continued. "Now, can I ask you something?"
"How many girls have you been with, Kyle?"
"Steph said you're helluva nervous with her -- not to me, to Carol. Anyway, Carol told her to treat you gently and to give you time."
"Carol tell you everything?"
"Do you tell her everything?"
"Most stuff. She'd freak if I told her everything."
"Like nothing." It was at that point that I decided to change the topic of convo. He was getting too inquisitive and dangerously close to stuff about me that I didn't wanna discuss with anybody. Not even him. It wasn't so much that I didn't trust him -- he'd probably walk barefoot over hot coals for me -- it was just that I found it difficult to talk about certain things.
Kyle must've sown a seed in my brain during lunch 'cause, that night, I visited his house. They were still having dinner which made me feel a bit awkward, but Kyle's mom insisted that I join them and have some even though I'd already eaten at home.
Sitting at the family table with Kyle and his folks felt surprisingly comfortable, almost as if their home were my home, too. Straight away, Kyle's dad was talking to me about boxing which also helped to put me at ease. After the meal, I helped Kyle's mom do the dishes while he brushed the pool. Then, he and I chilled in his room, listening to music and just chatting about shit until quite late -- later than I usually stayed up on a weeknight.
When it came time to split, I had the strange feeling that I was leaving home as opposed to going home. The vibes at Kyle's place were so strong, they gave me a sense of belonging that didn't exist at my place -- well, not nearly as much. Mom and I weren't a true family, even though I loved her. And now that her asshole boyfriend was hanging around like a stale fart, the atmosphere at home was becoming more and more strained.
Before I nodded off, I stared at the ceiling and thought about Kyle's dad. My father had never been interested in anything I did, and my mom's boyfriend couldn't give a shit about me. But Kyle's dad -- well, he spoke to me like I was his own son. He was interested in me, and the things I did. He treated me with respect. "You're one helluva lucky dude, Kyle," I sighed before closing my eyes and falling asleep.
At gym the next morning, Kyle was complaining about tendonitis in his left shoulder. "Hey, I've got some Reparil Gel here. Want me to rub some into your shoulder?"
"That'd be cool. Thanks."
I was pretty expert at massage, even if I did say so myself. I was very aware of the location of various muscles, and their behaviour. "How's it feel?"
"Awesome! You got exactly the right spot. Hurts, though."
"It won't kill you." When I'd finished, I wiped my hands clean of the gel on his back. Kyle was a pretty solid kid from all the swimming and working out, and I couldn't help becoming aroused as my hands slid over his smooth, tanned skin.
"What's that bulge in your shorts?" he grinned after turning around to face me.
"Fuck off." I rolled my eyes knowing that he was gonna steer the subject back to sex.
"So why did you say that you can't tell Carol everything?"
"A guy's gotta have some secrets from his girl."
"What sorta secrets?"
Jeez, he could be a fucking persistent bugger! "Private stuff -- so stop asking." He got the message that I wasn't gonna budge. "Listen up, you need to rub your shoulder out again before you go to bed tonight."
"Well, if you don't have anything to do…" There was nothing but mischief written all over his impish face.
"OK, if you really want me to, I can come around after supper."
"Serious? That'd be cool. Bring some tapes so we can tape some music."
What was it about that kid? Everytime I was nice to him, his face would light up like a fucking Christmas tree. I couldn't figure it out. My rep around the hood and school was of a dude with a bad attitude. I was aggressive and found it difficult to make friends -- too difficult, in fact. But this kid had the kinda loyalty you'd only expect from a dog, and once he got his chompers around your ankle he wasn't gonna let go. Anyway, it made me feel good to see his face light up when I did something for him. It gave me a warm kinda feeling even though I tried to hide it.
It was well after supper when I knocked on his front door. I didn't wanna make a habit of arriving during meal times, even if they did make me feel welcome. So, the Christmas tree answered the door with a grin from ear to ear.
"Hey! You're late! The dishes are done already!"
"Kyle!" I heard his mom scold. "You've got to put a stop to this business of trying to get your friends to do your chores for you! Like a certain young person who picks up the dog droppings, for example!"
"Jeez, mom, you can't blame a guy for trying."
I said my hellos, then followed Kyle to his room. As usual, the first thing that caught my eye was his surfboard hanging on the wall. It said so much about my crazy friend -- wild and carefree -- at one with nature. "So, how's the shoulder?"
"Feels a lot better than it did this morning, so that gel really helped."
"Not to mention my expert massage. Want me to rub it in again?"
"Yeah!" The Christmas lights sparkled yet again as he pulled off his t, then laid on his stomach on the bed. Once more, I rubbed the gel into his left shoulder.
"Hey!" he said as he rolled over onto his back after I was done. "There's another spot." I watched him place his hand on his crotch and grin.
"Fuck, Kyle! You're gonna get me into some sorta shit! Don't do that!"
"I know that, but what if your folks walk in here while you're kidding?"
"Don't sweat. I'm not totally dumb. Want me to rub some of that stuff into you?"
Whoa! I hesitated for a minute. It was one thing for me to be rubbing him, but what would happen if he rubbed me? The thought made me kinda nervous but I found my hands lifting my t over my head.
"Wanna lay on the bed?"
"Nah. I'll just sit here on the side."
"You worried about what my folks might think?"
"Just hurry up, will you?"
As his hands worked my shoulders, the feeling was so damn pleasant that it filled me with guilt. How could a guy enjoy the touch of another guy so much? It wasn't right. It couldn't be right.
"I can't believe your muscles, Mark. It's like every time you twitch, something ripples. Fucking awesome."
I didn't answer 'cause my brain was in total fucking turmoil -- feeling good and feeling guilty at the same time. I wanted outa there bad, but I let him finish before I put on my t. That was kinda weird, too. He'd seen me shirtless a million times but, right then, I felt the need to be dressed again. It wasn't just my skin that had been on show, it was a part of me that frightened the shit outa me.
I was still moody when I arrived at the gym next morning, and it didn't take long before Detective Kyle was quizzing me again.
"You got a hangup about my giving you a backrub last night?"
"I did have. Have you?"
"Fuck, no! What's wrong with it? If I were the coach and gave you a backrub, it wouldn't make a diff. So why should it make a diff if it's me or you?"
There was a lot more to Kyle's loaded question than he probably intended. Yeah, why should it make a diff? That was the scary part. "Yeah, I know. It's just that... fuck, I don't know."
"I don't know!"
"Hey, if it makes you horny then, fuck, I'm the same. Don't let people start rubbing stuff on me -- it's an instant boner."
"Your giving me a rub is the last thing that's gonna give me a fucking hardon, so just drop it. OK? I don't know what it is." Actually, that was a pretty lamo thing to say. I did have a boner when he was massaging me, and I was pretty sure he'd noticed.
"Then fucking smile will you? You looked pissed off at the world again. I wrote something once -- about friends shouldn't be afraid to be close. Think about it."
So who was this dude? Some fucking knight in shining armor? With spiky black hair sticking outa his helmet? Anyway, he kinda lightened me up. "You're not fucking normal. You know that?"
"Fucking hell, Kyle. Nobody likes me at school, but you hang with me and still manage to keep your friends."
"Why do you say that?"
"'Cause it's true! Dammit!"
"Bullshit, dude. You're carrying baggage, and you're taking it out on everyone. You don't let guys near you. You're like paranoid to make friends. So how come you hang with me?"
"Hey, you invited yourself."
"You never chased me?"
"Shuddup already. Are you gonna train or what?"
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