I've been writing the Mark story for quite some time now, hoping that one day I could write a chapter like this one. All along, my excursions into Mark's mind were educated guesses. I was never hundreds about his feelings for the Captain, but I took a chance and kept writing the story. Well, my guesses have been vindicated at last. It was well worth the wait. MrB
Kyle had often referred to me as a 'brainbox'. Admittedly, I did pretty well at school. On the other hand, I didn't spend half my life standing on a surfboard. So, on Friday night, he chose to stay home and hit the books, while Carol and I went clubbing.
Wingnut and his friends were up to their usual grommet tricks, trying to gain admission to Wipeout, and being rejected by the bouncer. Later that night, after Carol and I had decided to take a walk, we saw Wingnut's friends trying to hold him upright. The grommet was obviously in a very bad way.
"Kyle? It's me, Mark. You'd better get your ass over to Wipeout, like now. Wingnut's trashed big time."
While we waited for Kyle to arrive, Carol got some black coffee from the club, and tried to get Wingnut to drink some. But the kid was too spaced out to know what the fuck was going on, and he wouldn't swallow. The coffee just dribbled outa his mouth, and he stank of puke. Meantime, his so-called friends thought the situation was just one big fucking joke, and kept calling him a wuss.
"Stay with Wingnut. I'm gonna give those fuckers something to think about."
"No, Mark! Don't! You'll only get into trouble for hitting a minor. Stay here with me, and help me look after Wingnut."
When the mop of spiky, black hair arrived, he took one look at his little bud's eyes, and lost his rag. He glared at Sean and demanded to know what Wingnut had taken.
"Hey, we snorted a bit, and smoked a couple of joints. It's cool. Wingnut has handled it before."
It was clear that Kyle didn't believe him. "What else?"
Then Kyle grabbed the little fuck by the collar and lifted his feet off the ground. "What else?"
"Fuck off, man. What? You his fucking mother or something?"
"I'll kill you right here if you don't tell me what else!"
"So... we gave him some e as well... in his drink. But he was cool. OK? Now put me the fuck down!"
That was the straw that broke the camel's back for Kyle. He backhanded Sean so hard, the kid slid along the sidewalk. I grabbed my bud.
"Kyle! Cool it, for fuck sake!"
"Don't give him coffee. Give him water."
Carol dashed inside the club to get a bottle of mineral water, while Kyle attended the grommet. A few yards away, Sean was calling Kyle every name under the sun, so I headed toward him and his friends. They took one look at me and split.
We carried Wingnut to the beach, and stayed with him until dawn, giving him water each time he woke, and puked. I'd never seen Kyle so damn stressed, and it was obvious to me that he was feeling totally helpless... having to look on while his sick, little bud's body try to repair itself. Eventually, as the sun began to rise over the mountain, and Wingnut was showing signs of coming around, Kyle stripped to his boxers and headed for the water. Five minutes later, Wingnut had joined him.
Carol and I didn't wanna appear as if we were prying, but we couldn't help noticing those two guys wrapped in each other's arms. We could tell by the way their bodies were heaving that they were both bawling their eyes out.
"Hey, I've gotta work at the pizza restaurant today. I've gotta get some sleep."
"You needn't have stayed all night, Mark. Kyle and I could've looked after Wingnut."
"Yeah, right. I needed to be here for Kyle's sake. He's my best bud, and I know how much he cares for Wingnut. That's why I phoned him from Wipeout. I mean, just check those guys out. That's about as close as two people can be... no matter what age or sex."
"Do you think this experience will teach Wingnut a lesson?"
"Hope so. But at his age, he thinks he's gotta keep up with his peer group. Did you hear what those guys were calling him? They couldn't have given a fuck if he was dying. Fucking idiots. It's funny, y'know. I used to call Kyle a wussy boy back when my head was fucked. But instead of changing him, he changed me," I laughed. "Can you believe that? I just hope he can do the same for Wingnut."
"He will. If he can do it for you, he can do it for anybody."
"Yeah... he's one helluva dude."
"So are you."
Carol offered to let Wingnut sleep at her house, so we took the grommet there, then Kyle and I walked to my place.
"Thanks for phoning me."
"Hey, I knew what that kid needed most... you."
"I don't know if I can handle too much of this, Mark. Not with exams and everything. I'm totally stressed. Anyway, you and Carol were great. Thanks for staying with us."
"Hey, what are buds for?"
Saturday afternoon, after work, I called around to Kyle's house to see how he was doing.
"Hi, Mark," his mom said after opening the front door. "Kyle's not here. He's gone for a walk up the mountain... probably to a place he calls his and Paul's. He's been under a lot of pressure lately. I guess you've noticed."
"Yeah. School's been a safe place for him. Y'know, friends, sport, even the fights. Anyway, I'll go check him out. Thanks."
When I arrived at the spot just below the ledge overlooking the sea, the place he called his and Paul's, he was unaware of my presence, and appeared to be deep in thought as he gazed into the far distance... probably wondering who he was, and what life was all about... all that kinda shit.
"Hey," he smiled down at me. "How the fuck did you get up here without me seeing you?"
"Because you weren't looking for me. What's up?"
"How did you find me?"
"Your mom said you were heading up here. So what the fuck is up?"
"Nothing. Hey, I just felt like getting lost in my thoughts."
"You should be studying."
"I'm relaxing... getting away from the damn books for a while."
"So how's the studying going, anyway?"
"Not that great. I just can't seem to keep the shit in my head."
"Maybe you're concentrating so much on worrying about it, that you don't have a place for the real stuff. What's really bugging you? This is the place that you and Paul call your own, right?"
"Yeah," he laughed. "I'm so fucked up inside."
"That's the prob. I don't know. I'm just feeling so empty and depressed about nothing."
"I have those feelings. I think it's got something to do with leaving school, and making a major change in our lives... losing touch with what we have now, and what we really love... things that really amp us up. But, hey, bud, you don't even need those parameters 'cause you just fucking worry, anyway."
"My dad calls it resisting change. With me, it's more like a rebellion."
I climbed up onto the ledge, and sat next to my bud. "Looks beautiful, huh?"
And it did. The view from the mountain was better than anything you'd ever see in a travel brochure. It took you away from your little four-walled world, and opened an enormous vista that was totally awe inspiring. The sea was like varying shades of sparkling, blue glass as it reached for the far horizon. We could see the surfers sitting on the smooth water, waiting for the right wave to come alone, as the rolling swells passed under their boards.
"I never get tired of it. But I'm wondering if Wingnut is down there where he belongs, or in some dingy hole getting high."
"He's down there, surfing with Sean. Steph was there. She told Carol, and Carol told me."
"Thank God for that."
"Kyle, since you're determined to worry about every fucking damn thing, do you ever worry about what I think of you?"
"Well, I guess I could say no... that I don't give a fuck what you think... but that would be a lie. Yeah, I do worry a bit, 'cause I know how you used to feel, and I'm not sure if you still do. I think you're still quite a bit like that... y'know... like you were when we met."
"Have you ever wondered why I came around to your place quite a bit?"
"It's like one of life's mysteries," he shrugged, gazing at the view.
I also chose to focus on the panorama stretched for countless miles before us, while I prepared to reveal a few of my secrets. "A lot of it was curiosity. I wanted to see just how far you would go. I was getting ready to break off the friendship at one stage 'cause I couldn't handle it. I felt dirty after the first time we jacked off together. It wasn't right... y'know... two guys. But there was something different."
"You. You just make it almost normal. Hey, sometimes I still get the guilts. I'm not gonna lie to you. And sometimes I worry... about you... and what lies ahead."
"Oh? So I'm not the only one who worries, then?"
"I found out something when I was going out with Steph that I've never told you about. Think you can handle it?"
"She got AIDS or something?"
"You know how you and me are sometimes?"
"I'm not sure. How are we? I'm never hundreds that I do know about you and me."
"Closer than brothers. Much closer."
"OK... so what about Steph?"
"She and Carol are the same."
Kyle took his eyes off the view, and studied my face. "You're fucking joking!"
"I walked in on them one Saturday morning. Carol had slept over at Steph's. I found them making out in Steph's bed."
"Oh, my fuck! Carol and Steph?"
"Yep... don't look so surprised."
"So you dumped Steph 'cause of that?"
"No... that came later. But when I busted them, they invited me in, and it became a threesome. Best fucking sex I've ever had in my life."
"You didn't freak?"
"Hey, there was a time when some friends -- guys I knew -- and I used to get off watching blue movies of two chicks going at each other. I found it horny as all hell. Steph and I used to burn the sheets after she'd been with Carol."
"How come you're telling me all this now?"
"Hey, check this out. We're a million miles away from anywhere... so I'll tell you. I can always push you off the mountain afterwards."
"Careful! You might go first."
"When you and I became friends, I kinda figured you might want us to do stuff... totally faggot, fruitcake, homo stuff. You couldn't hide the way you used to stare at me... and still do. Fuck! Why do you think I used to wait 'til everyone was gone before going into the showers after swim prac? Carol used to talk about her and Steph sometimes. Sometimes it pissed me off, and sometimes it didn't... depending on my moods. She joked about you and me making love, and I thought about leaving her then... but..."
"Carol and Steph's friendship is so fucking normal... and they're both pretty normal... so it got me thinking."
"If you laugh, Kyle, I'll fucking brain you. I sometimes jacked off at night thinking about the two of us -- you and me -- being naked, and kissing, and making all-out love."
"No way! Never that far. But sensuous stuff. I'd get myself so worked up, that I'd think of maybe phoning you. Then I'd shoot my load, and become aware of how dirty those thoughts made me feel, and how I wished I was in bed with Carol. It was like it was just animal sex, and nothing else. As soon as I'd ejaculated, the feelings for you had disappeared."
"Oh, fuck... thanks... gone with the cum."
"Just bear with me, Kyle. I've got no interest in guys. I don't gawk at other guys. It's not my thing. A nice chick ass, or a pair of tits, is what gets my bells ringing. Then you come along and I start having feelings for you that I'd normally have for a chick. For the last couple of months, we've been so damn close, you and me... and you've done things to me that I'm not sure are right or wrong. All I know is that it's 'cause it's you. You make it right. But I've worried 'cause I've not done the same for you. And you've no idea about the thoughts that have gone through my head."
"What are you getting at?"
"Well, I think the point is seeing you like this... looking lower than shark shit. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, Kyle. I love you very much. Hey, I don't see any kids in our future. But I love you more than any friend I've ever had. One day, I'll get up the courage, and we'll make love to each other... as long as you stay away from my ass, that is. It'll be special."
"Well, I think it's safe to tell you that I fantasize about you a lot. Jeez! I can't believe what you're telling me!"
"Hey, here's some encouragement."
Maybe it was the view. Maybe it was Kyle needing my friendship... to be understood. Maybe it was because I'd opened up to him. Whatever the reason, I leaned toward him, took his head in my hand, and pulled his face to mine. Suddenly, our tongues were dancing inside each other's mouths. It wasn't a friend's kiss, a bud's kiss, a bro's kiss. It was a lover's kiss. Nevertheless, as Kyle's hand made its way under my t, and found my chest, I could feel myself trembling. Then his hand found my rock-hard cock. But we continued kissing. We kissed for a long time. I wasn't afraid of Kyle. I was afraid of myself, and the feelings that he evoked in me. Feelings that were way too powerful to supress any longer.
After our lips had peeled apart, we both stared in silence at the view, but not really seeing anything. I was pretty sure that Kyle's mind was like mine... racing with all kinds of thoughts and questions. I'd never kissed a guy before. And even if Kyle had, he'd never kissed me. How could this have happened? I didn't know. Something had taken control, and we just went along for the ride.
Kyle was first to break the silence. "That was pretty special."
"Special? I thought it was pretty awesome. You kiss pretty good... for a guy." Then I had to wait for Kyle to stop giggling before I continued. "And I know about Steve, Kyle. No... don't interrupt. He didn't tell me. I think it's just a good guess on my part. And I suspect you and Wingnut, too. You don't need to explain any of it. I think I know you well enough to understand."
"Yep. And thanks for not putting the pressure on me all this time, and for just being a fucking good friend."
"You've no fucking idea what this means to me, Mark... what you've just done."
"I know exactly what it means. And I'm not just talking about your hardon, either."
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