South Africa
Part 33

Hi Gary.

Thursday: HES COMING OVER ON FRIDAY NIGHT. He phoned last night to tell me.

"You forgot to put the apostrophe in HE'S."

Shuddup, Gary. Jeez! Anyway, I had a good start to the day yesterday. School was pretty normal with nothing major going on, and then I was out surfing after school, and had a good sess. [It was] churning a bit, but it was rideable. Only myself and a few other guys out.

When I got home, I went into the gym to hit the boxing bag. My dad was there hitting the fucking bag. Can you fucking believe that? And he was hitting the shit out of it as well... putting his whole shoulder into it. Sweating like a fucking pig. I turned to leave and he called me back. That was a first.

"This was a good idea... getting the boxing bag."

"Cool."

"You should have checked with me first, Steve."

"And what then? You know and I know that your answer would've been no."

"No. The answer would have been no if you'd asked for money to buy it. I think it's a great idea and I'm glad that you thought of it."

"Cool. I'll come back later." As I walked away, I was hoping that he'd call me back. Please! But he never did. He carried on hitting the bag. I returned to my room and spent about an hour there.

When I thought he would have finished using the gym, I went back to find it empty. Picked up the gloves he'd been wearing. They were still damp inside from his perspiration. I put them on, and they felt so cool. It was the first time I'd ever seen my dad that physical, and I was fucking impressed with the way he was hitting [the bag].

But then I imagined that the bag was him, and I pummeled that fucking thing. Why didn't he call me back? Even just to hold the bag for him? I worked myself into such a fucking frenzy that I was eventually just hitting the bag wild, and kicking it, and cussing at it. Then I sat outside at the bottom of the garden and smoked a joint. After that, I went back to my bedroom. Fuck the school assignment. By that stage my mood was fucking shattered anyway.

Thursday: Got your mail this morning. Am I really that fucking bad? I know Wingnut sees me as a fucking loser anyway. He's seen me being beaten up by Craig, and lying in a fucking heap on the beach. He's been beating me up while trying to teach me how to box. He's got this image of me totally wrecked, lying in my own mess [in my bed after I'd been spiked by the dealers].

I'm not likely to start a permanent relationship with my ex again, or with Steph for that matter. And I'll tell them that. Hey, if we end up in bed anyway, then that's a plus. Steph's spot on. I've been a user of people all my life. Guess I used Cody as well to justify some of my feelings. But he used to see through me most of the time, and I guess I loved him because he was so genuine about the way he felt about me. Took me a while to figure how he could be like that towards me, and feel just as great about his relationships with everyone else.

I went around to Bruce's place for a short while, and he gave me a fucking awesome massage. He's got vitamin E oil, which is supposed to be great for the skin, and he totally got into it. I did the same for him when he was done, and just had a really cool time. We didn't even have sex! ;-/ He's like a fucking doctor with all the vitamins that he carries. He said that he put the word out that he wants out of the selling [of drugs]. He said that the guy he works through has always been cool with him, and he hopes that they can still connect. He's always treated Bruce well, with bonuses and all kinds of things. If Bruce is lucky, he's just gonna walk away from this. How the fuck is that? The condition? I stop using and I give him back the crack that I've got in my closet.

I don't trust those fucks [dealers] though. Not after what happened to me, and I worry about Bruce. He comes across all tough and macho, but he won't fucking handle [what they did to me].

Before it got too late, I phoned Wingnut. His dad picked up the phone and wanted to know who it was. "It's Steve." When Wingnut answered, I told him that I wanted to wish him luck tomorrow [at his school swim meet].

"That is really cool, man. Thanks. You gonna be there?"

"Yeah. Skipping school... so you need to write me a note."

"That's bitching," he laughed. "Cool! Seeya!"

Friday: Went to Wingnut's school interhouse swimming this morning. It was OK to get lost in amongst the parents. What a fucking horny time! There's a grade 8 lightie who is totally fucking cute! Blonde. OK, so if he's blonde, it means he's cute anyway. :)

Wingnut was in quite a few races... and fucking hell! He can lose his temper! In one race he was doing freestyle and totally fucked up. He came in 5th. He got out of the water and was fucking enraged! I thought the muscles in his neck were going to pop. I can't describe it any other way. I was too busy watching the way his wet Speedos were clinging to his butt and his sock. :)

"Sock?"

COCK! You're not concentrating!

"Sorry."

Wingnut was first and second in most of his races, though. He saw me sitting up in the bleachers at the start of his first race, so he knew I was there, which was cool. Didn't wave or anything, but I don't think he wanted to draw attention to me, anyway.

The first race that Craig was in had my fucking attention. When that dude took off his tracksuit my fucking eyes popped out of my head. He is built! Oh, my fuck! He's got a body to totally fucking die for, and he had something huge folded down into his skimpy Speedos. I could clearly see his two perfect eggs lying down there, just fucking waiting for a warm mouth to hatch them. I want that fucker in bed with me so I can punish him. :) He never saw me, thank fuck. I think if that guy has to get seriously aggro with me he'd do some real fucking damage. His shoulders are fucking huge and powerful, and he just powered his way to winning every event he was in. He's got a helluva following at school as well.

Craig's little bro's not too bad either. In fact, Jason is a looker with a nice trim swimmer's bod and strong legs. Little fuck. I didn't want to put Winger in a spot, so I left just before the last senior race.

I'm hoping Wingnut's gonna phone in a while. Don't worry, Gary. As much as I want to make love to the grommet, I won't do anything stupid. Just trust me on this one. OK? I don't even know what the fuck we're gonna do about entertainment.... yet.

Cheers
Your friend and the Codeman's

Steve

> Hi Gary.

G'day Steve :)

> Thursday. HES COMING OVER ON FRIDAY NIGHT. He phoned last night to tell
me.

Why am I getting the impression that you're just a tad excited? Did your Caps Lock button get stuck? Anyway, you're getting to be as bad as I am - leaving me with a cliff hanger. :) It's Saturday morning as I write this, so right now you and Winger are together. I'd give anything to be a fly on the wall [despite knowing what you do to flies].

But first to your dad. I'm amazed that you were impressed with the way he was hitting the bag, and yet you didn't say anything about it. Do you dance? I guess you do, but I'll bet it's not the tango. You've probably heard of the tango. Maybe you even saw it when you visited Brazil. At least you'll have heard of the expression, "It takes two to tango". :) I'm not suggesting that you and your dad sweep around the gym in each other's arms, but it would have been cool if you'd said something about the way he was hitting the bag. What's stopping you? Pride? You were hoping that he'd call you back. You wanted him to reach out to you. Maybe it does take two to tango, but it begins by one person asking the other to dance. Does it matter who asks?

Lindsay often complains about his dad. One of his main gripes was that his dad never sends him a birthday card. "Have you ever sent your dad a card?" "No." So I talked Lindsay into sending his dad a card. His dad not only got the shock of his life, but he returned the compliment. [Update: Lindsay must have known I was thinking about him cos today he wrote a three-page letter to his dad].

Meantime, I DEFINITELY went to the wrong school. Sounds like Wingnut's school is a virtual smorgasbord of scrumptious teens. Whoa! I remember so well Cody telling me about the guys on the swim team - and how they used to compare bods. That's what led to the strip show in that big barn - the one you also performed at. And if memory serves me correctly, you came second. I think Darren was first, and Mark was fourth. Code never told me where he came. Jeez, what a show THAT must've been! How come I've never seen anything like that? What have I been doing wrong?

Anyway, I'm glad you've been surfing. I love visualizing you out there carving up the waves. Actually, my fav mental image is of you, board tucked under your strong arm, running out of the wash and up the beach. Swoon.

Wingnut's image of you? Well, he's not coming around to your house cos he remembers Craig belting the shit out of you, or cos he remembers you laying in your own mess. At a guess, I'd say there's just the teensiest weensiest iddy biddiest chance that he actually likes you hehehe. How many times has he seen you [and Cody] carving up the waves? Probably thousands. How many times has he seen you trashed? Thousands? How many times has he seen you beaten up? Thousands? Wingnut is like me. I know about all the crap you've been through, but that's not what I focus on.

You may not realize it, Steve, but you're actually going through a process where you're earning respect - not just from me, but from many people. Not too many people could have done what you've done, and shown the courage you've shown. So you're not just a pretty face, Steve. Underneath all that glam is a man. :) Hey, as I write this, you and Wingnut could be having the barny to end all barnies. You've both got short wicks, so anything could happen, and probably will sooner or later. But that ain't new. Cody and Wingnut often fought. Cody and Mark fought. You and Cody fought. You and Mark have fought. Hey, even you and I have fought!

The bottom line is that Wingnut has visited you several times of his own free will. And you went to his school to watch him swim. If that ain't the glue of friendship, then I dunno what is. What keeps Wingnut coming back? Go figure. He's seen you at your worst, but he's also seen you at your best. Cody was the same. He saw your dark side as well as your good side. I sure hope he's watching you now cos he'd be as proud as punch of you.

So you and Bruce didn't "even" have sex last time you were there? I can identify with that. I didn't have sex that day either hehehe. Or the day before. Or the day before that. When was the last time? Uh... let's just say it was a while back.

Actually, while I'm writing this, I'm downloading a clip of a Canadian [Quebec] teen posing for the cameras. He's AWESOME! And he keeps laughing cos he thinks it's funny. The clip arrives in small grabs, so I'm constantly clicking on the damn thing to see the next part. He's got a smooth tanned swimmer's bod, and the most adorable face. SWOON! And the most suckable of all suckable dicks. And totally scrumptious nads. Oh, jeez. I shouldn't be looking at that kinda stuff. I can almost taste his precum. It's been too damn long since my tonsils were tickled.

Glad to hear about Bruce getting out of the selling. I hope it goes smoothly for him. Those drug syndicates are such low life - recruiting kids to do their dirty work. Kids are soooo vulnerable! As the saying goes, it's like taking candy from a baby.

Yes, I do trust you with Wingnut. You've allowed me to carve out a piece of territory in your head, so I'm always there to haunt you hehehe. You've gone past a critical point in your effort to reform your life. You now have a conscience. Actually, you always had a conscience, but when it troubled you, you anaesthetized it with drugs. And as you know now, that just exacerbated the problem.

I really really really really really really hope that you and Winger had a great night together. Hopefully he earbashed you about how awesome he was in the pool at the school meet hehe. It's a wonderful thing to have somebody who thinks you're awesome, and who loves to hear you boast about your successes. I guess what I'm really saying is that it's wonderful to have someone who loves you. :)

That's how I feel about you. I wanna hear you boast to the point where your ego is so damn inflated that your feet leave the ground. :) Yep, I do love you very much. I feel like I've dug a spot in a sunny part of my garden, put you in there, watered and fed you, and watched the new shoots sprout. Actually, I've just done that with some fresh mint I bought from the market. I used a bit, then put the rest in a glass of water. After a couple of days, the leaves withered and I was gonna trash it. But Sue won't allow me to trash anything. After a few more days, I noticed new shoots. The damn thing was growing in water! So I dug a patch in the garden and planted it. It's doing really well. :)

I wish you could tell Wingnut and Mark how much I admire them and love them. But you can't. At least not yet. :) I've got a plan. Nothing whatsoever to do with MrB. Totally separate. It'll be another web site. I'll let you know about it when I get my act together. There will be no links to Codysworld, and definitely no links to MrB or any other gay site. Curious? Hang in there, mate. This fossil is much more devious than you thought hehehe.

I can't wait for your next mail. Oh, and Spencer told me you sent him a long email. Spencer is cool, and has a lot of admirable qualities. He thinks "you really are a good dude". :)

Your friend and the Codeman's

Gary Patrick Thomas Francis O'Dooley Kelly :)

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 Steve Part 34