It was 3:05am when I emailed Gary about my getting gateway errors on Eudora. Pissing me off. So I asked him if one of his buds could think of something that I'd set up wrongly or some fucking thing. At least I'd been able to upload the latest Cody News, albeit Steve's Drivel hahahaha! Wondered what everyone would think about it. I'd also just finished the story I'd written for Gary's birthday. :) "Hey, Gary, tired as shit so I'm going to bed."
Based on emails from July/August, 2002.
Later that day, after school, I emailed him again. I'd had a shit day at school cos I was so fucked up tired. Didn't get to bed 'til around 4am. At least I'd managed to finish my first Steve's Drivel Page and post it, and also finished the story I'd been writing for Gary's birthday. Now I was just wishing that I could finish Code's Singapore story with him and TJ. That thing was so twisted. We'd been working on it together, but fuck knew where we'd been going with it.
I admitted to Gary that I was fucked when I wrote that last email to him. I had to read it again to see if I'd said anything cuntly.
"I did make it to see Steph on Saturday night, though. I was still feeling the after effects of too much of whatever the fuck I'd been on. I need to fucking stop, Gary. I mean it. I'm not just saying it to make you feel good. I am fucking desperate."
"One of the guys I was with had a syringe and he was injecting H. It was offered to me. I fucking said no. Didn't stop me from popping acid, though, and I suffered the downers on Saturday. I was still fucked when I fetched Steph. I've hardly slept a wink, and I feel like shit right now. The guys and I fucked ourselves up with concoctions of acid and coke, and I can't even remember what booze."
"Two of the guys were pissing me off cos they were going on and fucking on about faggots. Yeah, right. Then two of the guys blew each other so they could show everyone how fucking bad it was. Hello? I told them that they were acting like jerks, and that maybe they were gay. Almost ended up in a fucking fist fight."
"The one prick, Charl, came on to me and pulled me up by my shirt. We were all just so fucked up. I asked him why he didn't swallow his bud's cum, and what kind of bud was he. So he flathanded me across the face. Not too hard, though, cos that would've caused me to climb into him. Think I wouldn't?"
Anyway, so Steph wasn't too happy with me when I showed up. We never went out that night cos she couldn't handle me looking like I was. So we just hung out at her place and spoke. She told me that she couldn't handle the whole [drug] scene. It was then that I found out that she'd been clean for months. Not even so much as a joint. She'd been going to counselling with a bud, but her folks didn't know about it.
"Steve, I can get you onto the program if you want. I still go once a week. My folks think I'm at a friend's house doing school homework."
So I was thinking about going to the counselling sessions with her. The people who did the counselling were all ex-druggies, so they knew the drill. It was also a house, so it wasn't like there were neon signs flashing outside.
Mark phoned me on Sunday night, and fucking laid into me cos Steph had phoned him, and said that he was the only person who could talk some sense into me.
"I'll give it to you straight, Steve. You're not gonna be welcome to visit Joburg to see me and Fingers again until you're clean. Got it?"
Mark reminded me about the time I'd snorted coke at Finger's place the last time I was there... with that dumb chick I'd met at a pub. Hey, he didn't even scream at me. Just spoke straight up.
Later, I phoned Wingnut to find out what had happened with the chick he was meeting.
"The one you told me about... the one who was coming on to you... the one who had her hand down your pants... the one who wanted to give you a blowjob in front of your buddy Jason."
"Can you narrow it down a bit?"
"Hahahaha! So what happened?"
"Jason ended up coming with me."
Turned out that Wingnut had panicked cos it would've ended up with him screwing the chick, and he was fucking terrified about that possibility. So Jason sent an SMS to his folks to come fetch them without the chick knowing, which meant that Winger didn't have to bail out on her. His excuse was that Jason's folks were outside the house waiting for them hahahahaha!
I didn't ask, but I was wondering if he was horny enough for him and Jason to get it on together. Hmmm. I couldn't help wondering if they did. Maybe even Craig [Jason's bro] came onto Wingnut whenever he slept over at Jason's place. Who fucking knew?
Anyway, Wingnut was supposed to be going back to the chick's house on Friday, and he was gonna round up a horde of his buds to go with him hahahaha, cos they were all supposed to be watching videos or something.
"So, what's up, Gary? This morning I sent you the mail about Cody's News Page. Then I went into MrB and saw no update for yesterday. What the fuck is happening there? I think this whole Luke thing has gotten your brain screwed. I read that Luke 08 and saw that his dad was gonna throw the gay thing at you with the cops. Everyone knows that's bullshit, but it does nothing for your rep in the hood. I fucking told you to stay away, didn't I? That little cunt is like me, Gary. I used to do the same bullshit antics to get cash, but I never stole from friends. I used to get my folks to buy me expensive shit just so I could sell it or pay off debts."
"That story I wrote for your birthday is like maybe Cody would've wanted it to end, so that's how I wrote it. If I'd written it the way I wanted it to end that little prick would've ended up being set up for a hit [by the mob]. Make no fucking mistake."
"I checked the pic of him. You saw cute eyes. I saw cunt eyes that are as fucking sly as anything. And I reckon he's done the fucking deed, buddy. I think he's had more blowjobs than me, selling his fucking cock in public toilets to anyone who's got the cash."
"The other guys seem OK, but just be fucking careful with them as well. I wouldn't even trust me right now. But at least I can fucking admit it. Next time, if there is one, and that little fucker rubs his crotch up against you tell him to fuck off. If you want some motivation to write more stories just think of Code reading them and what he would say about them. What about all your other buds you've got? Like Rich, and Spencer and everyone else? Write their fucking stories."
"My story? Just one fucking disaster after another until I can get my brain sorted out. Why not continue Winger's story? Cos the readers liked that, and I've given you a lot of info. That thing that happened with me. Write that from his point of view using his language like you did in his stories."
"Hey, that's me spent. The story I did for your birthday is in MS Word format. Do you want me to send it to you zipped? There are two graphics with it that I did for the title and the end. Cheers."
Your friend and the Codeman's,
By the time I'd written Gary again the weather in Cape Town had turned totally shit, with howling wind and rain. I'd gone for a surf the previous afternoon and took off on this one wave. The wind gusted unexpectedly and blew my board up off the lip of the wave, and back onto me. If I hadn't been quick enough with my fucking hands, it would've connected me in the face. There were a couple of really good waves that I caught, though, before getting totally pissed off. It was just me and two other guys out. And it was fucking cold! "Like half-inch cold if you know what I mean."
Steph and I had planned to go out again that night, and I was really looking forward to it. Wasn't sure what we were gonna do. Figured we'd decide later.
Wingnut was off to that chick's place with his whole tribe in tow to protect him hahahahaha! I actually didn't blame him for being a bird shitters. He'd been around for a bit the previous day after I'd gotten back from surfing. He told me that he'd gone for a piss in the chick's upstairs toilet, and busted her little sister giving a blowjob to a little guy who must've been like fucking ten years old or something. The sister was only about twelve. Their parents were next door at a dinner party. "Can you believe that, Gary?"
"People go to dinner parties all the time."
"That NOT what I meant!"
Anyway, so the girls were obviously way into sex. Also, there were some older teens at the party, and they were snorting. Wingnut was totally scared of the whole scene, but he'd fallen for this chick - or so he said - and I was wondering if it was only cos she'd had her hand down his pants the whole night, stroking him. Hey, I could see how she was getting off. I'd felt that teen meat of Winger's and any chick would have wanted that little hunk to fuck them. "But he's also like a little kid, Gary, if you know what I mean, so I feel for him. Hey, I'd rather feel him hahahaha! But feeling for him was also cool."
I'd visited FunTB chat on Wednesday night and chatted to dio and lion and lp, and it was really cool. They wanted me in there regularly but it wasn't that easy to find the time, and the time was gonna be even more difficult to find as I got closer to end of year exams.
"Hey, Gary, I must tell you that I sparred with my dad last night in the gym and it was really, really cool. OK, so we were hitting each other really fucking hard, but we were wearing headgear. There was no way I'd spar with my dad without headgear on, but he still hit me like a sledgehammer in the gut."
"But he was the first one to lower his gloves and say 'enough already' hahahahaha! Then he put his arm around me and we went to shower together. TWO separate SHOWERS! Fuck, you've got a kinky brain, Gary! In the gym next to the showers we've got a shower stall with two showers side by side."
"Hey, Gary, I must come clean now. I want to be clean. I felt so good last night after sparring with my dad, and I want to feel like that all the time. I'm sick and tired of being trashed, and I hope this counselling story [that Steph told me about] works for me. It's just that it's so fucking hard when there's coke or whatfuckingever going on around me. I can't stop myself."
"The acid fucked my brain the other night, and I was hallucinating fucking badly. LSD's a new thing for me, and I'm not sure how I got onto that track at all. But it's not good, and I know that. But try to tell my brain that when there are guys all around me popping. I know it's fucking stupid but you try to stop your fucking smoking tobacco, and tell me how easy it is."
"I'm stoked that you liked my Steve's Drivel page on Cody's News. It was fun putting it together, and it was good to remember the Codeman and the things we did together."
"I can't believe how fucked up my life has become since he left. Hey, I know it's my own fault, but still..."
"The story I wrote is for your birthday, and you must tell me when you want me to send it to you. I want to send it so that you can post it on MrB on August 29 at least. Anyway, that's me spent."
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