When I arrived home from the strip show, my folks were bright and breezy working around the house. They had friends coming for a barbecue, and they wanted me to hang around. I begged them to let me go surfing instead, and they said it was OK. So I went next door and asked Wingnut if he wanted to go for a wave. That really made my day. The two of us went down [to the beach] and I borrowed a stick from a friend for him to use. We spent the whole day on the beach.
Cape Town, South Africa
Part 26
I tried to phone Steve on Sunday night but he was out. Monday, I spent the day surfing, with Wingnut again. He’s getting pretty good now; he’s learned to bottom out, and he even managed a floater.
Wingnut was waiting for me yesterday when I got back from swim training. Asked if he could come around, so I said it was OK. He was disappointed that we couldn’t go surfing but the wind was like gale force here. It still is. So the surf is totally blown away.
Anyway, he followed me into my room and watched me while I changed [clothes] – NO, I DIDN’T HAVE A BONER! Then he asked me if I jacked off. I fucking stared at him and said, “HUH?” He started going all red and whispered something about “all the boys at school talk about jacking”, and he thought it was OK.
I felt like shit, and then said to him that I was just surprised to hear the question. I asked him why he asked. He said that the guys at school reckon that if you jack off regularly then you get a big dick, and my dick was huge to him, and that is why he asked. So I told him yeah, that I jack off every night in bed. Fuck! Seeing the furniture on him, I reckon he musta started exercising as soon as he left his mom’s womb.
“Do you jack off?” [I asked him].
“Yep.”
“So what do you think about when you jack off?”
“Comics.”
“HUH?”
“Comics. A friend of mine has a coupla Japanese comics that show these young guys having sex with girls, and that is what I think about cos it looks hot. And you?”
“(I think about screwing my best friend, Steve). “Me? I guess most of the time I think about screwing girls.”
“Got one?”
“Had one.”
“Bet you’ve got lots.”
“HAD ONE!”
“Ever been with a boy?”
“Why?”
“Cos I jacked off with a friend of mine at school once.”
“Fuck! Did you do each other?”
“No way! Then I’d be gay.”
“Says who?”
“All the guys say so. If you touch a boy then you’re gay.”
“Crap, man. What about all the rugger guys smelling each other’s nuts in the scrum?”
(He laughed). “That’s different cos I play rugger, but I don’t smell the guys. Anyway, we all stink when we’re playing rugger.”
“Wanta swim?”
“I must go get my cossie [swim costume]. We’re gonna wrestle again?”
“You didn’t need your cossie the other day.”
“Yep, but your mom’s home.”
“She won’t mind.”
“I’ll be back now. I’m gonna get my cossie.”
We had a great time, but I had a stacka homework to do, so I hadta tell him that he’d haveta go home so I can do it.
“Can I sit in your room and listen to music while you’re working?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
He sat around for a while before his mom called him. She said she liked what I was doing for him – teaching him to surf and stuff.
He’s really neat, though. I reckon if I ever got married and had a son, I’d like him to be like Wingnut, cos he’s tough and he’s friendly, and on top of that he’s good looking. Probably got the girls in his school falling over each other. So does he have a girl? Hehehe – he says he hasn’t got time for them cos they’re all a pain.
Hehehe – Wingnut couldn’t come around yesterday cos he had a stacka homework as well. He did sneak over, though, just for a sec to say hi, and explain why he couldn’t stay. I was a bit disappointed. I’m getting used to him being around.“Hey, Cody.”
“Yeah.”
“That question you asked yesterday about me and my friends jacking each other. You ever do that?”
“Promise to keep a secret?”
(Lots of head nods)
“Yep, and it’s got nothing to do with being gay. It’s to do with being friends.”
“Just seems weird – touching another guy’s penis.”
“Hey, it’s no biggie. A lotta guys will never let anyone touch their dicks. I wouldn’t just let anyone touch mine either, and you shouldn’t let anyone touch yours if you don’t feel right [about it]. So, there ya go – it’s just no biggie.”
“How does it feel? Must be cool, huh – having someone jack you off.”
“Just be careful if you ever try it, huh. Like you said, a lotta guys think it’s a gay thing, and you don’t want people thinking that of you, OK. Hey, you’d better start thinking homework.”
I think I’ve confused the shit outta him – and maybe given him the wrong answers. Canya imagine? “Mom, dad - Cody says it’s OK for me and my friends to jack each other off. Cool, huh?”
Oh, I didn’t tellya – the guys were all talking and raving about the strip show. I wish I could remember [everything about] the damn thing. Hehehe – damn, I was smashed.
Things on the Steve front weren’t going too well. I hadn’t seen him since the strip show. Maybe he was mad at me for offering my dick to his girlfriend when I did my dance. How could he just sit there like that while she was feeling my crotch? If somebody did that to my girlfriend I woulda punched his fucking lights out.Anyway, I phoned Steve and we ended up having a huge fight. “Get a girlfriend and get a fucking life,” he yelled, then hung up in my ear. Get a girlfriend? OK. How about his?
Then, hot on the Steve fiasco’s heels came the swim tour, another huge fucking disaster. After we got back to Cape Town, I stayed home for a week, telling my folks that I was too sick to attend school. The swim coach was also pissed that I’d let the team down while on tour. Worst of all was what G would think of me if he knew about all the crap I’d gotten myself into. Finally, after about three weeks, I wrote.
Hiya Gary,
You better believe that I’ve been missing you, too. A lot has happened, and a lot has been going on. The swim tour is a whole long story cos it turned into a nightmare for me.
Steve is around again, and things are looking OK on that front. So you’re wondering … did I screw his girlfriend? Yep, I did, and he found out, and we had a helluva fisty, but I think that has turned out OK.
I haven’t been at school for a week since getting back [from the tour]. Been acting sick cos of what happened on the swim tour. I’ll tellya [about it] later, though. I’ve got a shitloada work to catch up on, and I can see there’s like 28 email notes here [to answer] as well.
I’m sorry for making ya worry like that. I didn’t meanta.
Should I tell G about what happened on the tour or not? What would he think? Hmmm, maybe I could kinda hint at it to test his reaction. So the next day, I wrote a biggie.Hiya Gary,
Like I said, a lot has happened, and some of it not so good. I think the first thing was me getting involved with Steve’s girlfriend.
I was crazy and angry [after the argument on the phone], and I shoulda thought about what I was doing before I did it. I phoned her and asked her what she was up to, and if she would like to go out to a movie or something.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, she asked if I didn’t rather wanta go to her place cos her folks were out, and we could just watch videos or whatever
“What about Steve?”
“Steve isn’t my father.”
Fuck! I shoulda taped that. Anyway, so I went around to her place. I had to hitch hike through cos she stays up in the larny area where all the well-to-do people live. Her house is amazing.
Anyway, we went to the den which is up in like an attic thing. The den is huge, and all done out in wood, and they have this HUGE entertainment center with big-screen TV and stuff, and a great sound system.
Anyway, she asked me if I wanted something to drink, and I said that I would have a Coke. She laughed, and said, “No, I want to know what you want to DRINK.” Then she gave me a beer. Anyway, she sat next to me and started talking about the strip show and how she was hoping that I would phone her.
“So how come you’ve never phoned me?” [I asked].
“You would have thought I was a sex maniac.”
I asked her about Steve and her, and she said that they had a really good relationship, and how she loved him. And then she tells me that he told her that she was the only person who had given him such great sex. FUCK! [What about me?] So I asked her what she wanted to do. So she said that she had a coupla vids we could watch. So I said OK, cool.
I was thinking that the whole thing was a mistake, and maybe I just shouldn’t have gone there. Anyway, they’ve got DVD in their home [entertainment] center, and the movie quality is like shit hot.
So she puts on this porno movie about teens camping. Well, in no time I had a raging boner, and she was on to me, undoing my jeans and undressing me and undressing herself. She was blowing me while this movie was on and I thought, “To fuck with it!”
So I went on to her. I can’t believe she’s been fucked so much cos she was as tight as anything, and she was groaning when I slid into that oyster of hers. If I toldya I didn’t like it, I would be lying. She was one of the first girls I’ve ever fucked, not counting the whores [with Paul] and it felt pretty awesome.
And then – in walks her friend, right there while I’m doing her. Well, you’re not gonna believe this, but she [Steve’s girlfriend] acts like there’s nothing happening, and tells her friend to get a drink. Her friend pats my ass and makes some comment about my bod, and then walks off. I shot a truckloada Cody juice into Steve’s bitch.
We spent the rest of the evening watching more blue movies, and the two of them gave me a double header, which was pretty awesome.
I ended up getting pretty outta it cos of all the beer I was drinking. I can’t even remember leaving and going home.
Steve phoned me early the next day and told me he wanted to see me. His girl’s friend – the one who had walked in on us – phoned him [the previous night] while I was still screwing her. Anyway, I didn’t expect him to just lash out. I was waiting for him to talk to me when he let me have it. It was a helluva fight, which was stupid cos both of us were bleeding and had torn shirts, and [we were] fulla bruises.
And then we spoke, and I told him why I did it.
“I love you, dammit, and I’m sick of playing second fiddle to a bitch slut who’s using you. I did it to show you what she’s really like.”
So we ended up laughing about how stupid we’d both been. He was still pretty pissed that I could do that behind his back, though. That was the last time we spoke before I left on the swim tour.
I guess what happened on the swim tour was a punishment to me for having done that to my best friend. I need to write it all down and then send it to ya.
It’s the reason I’ve been off school, and I’ve spent a lotta time being pretty depressed about it. But I think it’s gonna be OK.
Don’t be mad at me, OK? A thirty-year-old guy screwed me on the tour. And the more I think about it, I’m sure I was raped, even though it might not look like it. I was conned into doing something I wasn’t ready for, and with someone I wasn’t interested in doing anything with.
For now, just believe that I wasn’t in a position to stop what happened. I hopeya understand. I haven’t told anyone about it – not even Steve.
[Cody decided to tell me all about the rape, but the mail is missing. Perhaps Cody decided to delete it from Eudoramail after I’d downloaded it. At the time, it wasn’t something I could write about per se, so I decided to use it in Daniel’s Diary, with Daniel’s ears being mine. I changed Cody’s [Kyle’s at that stage] name to Matt, and the rapist’s [Robert] to Slobodan. Back then, Slobodan Milosivic was the world’s most prominent asshole. Otherwise, the story – apart from a mystery location - is as Cody told it to me. You can read about it in Daniel chapter 70. MrB].
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