The morning really dragged into the afternoon before Mark got back. Hehehe. Shane was at Carol’s by the time he got there. Hahahahahohohoho. Anyway, they got rapping and drank a few beers, and that was it. 
Cape Town, South Africa
Part 129
“Hey, Code, want to come for a walk?”
“Yeah, sure. Where?”
“Beach.”
It was cold so we were both wearing thick jackets over our ts and jeans. See? That’s the effect he has on me – I dress the same.
“What are your plans, Cody?”
“What plans?”
“College plans – studying plans – future plans – plans plans.”
“Shit, I don’t know. Seriously, I don’t know anymore. I’ll have enough money [saved] for a year in college. And then what? Anyway, I’m not sure what I want anymore.”
“So the famous Dirk Pitt [from Clive Cussler’s novels] is changing direction?”
“Something like that.”
“What about crewing a few boats – yachts? There’s always guys looking for hands.”
“Oh, yeah. What a great future.”
“I’m being serious. As it is now, you’re heading fucking nowhere in that shop. You think that’s what you want to do all your life?”
“Fuck, no.”
“It’s just an idea. There’s always stuff going on and guys looking for crews. You love the sea. Don’t know what you want to do? It’s a door, Code. Quite a good one, too.”
“That what you want to do?”
“I think so.” *Smile* “It’s the first time that I actually might have a goal – to get a skipper license and sail yachts all over the place. Some guys are forever delivering yachts from one place to another for the owners.”
“I’ll need to think about it.”
“OK, but do it. I think it’s something you’ll dig doing. You don’t mind hard work – cos it is. But it’s fun as well, and you’ll always be on the sea. And there’s a bit of money to be made. Quite a bit.”
We spoke for a long time and Mark got me quite hyped about the whole thing, mainly cos of his own enthusiasm for the whole trip. His whole plan is to eventually sail new boats from the yards to their owners around the world, and get into some racing as well. What he said made a lot of sense cos I really don’t know what I want anymore. But being on the sea or in it is definitely right up there.
Saturday evening just the two of us went out to Dunes in Cape Town. It’s a tiny place in Long Street and totally wall to wall [people] if you’re thinking of doing a jig. But the whole vibe was really just for the two of us to hang out and talk, and we really did talk. We stood out on the balcony, watching the whole vibe down the street, and the action outside the other clubs. Cars hooting, and small argie bargies [arguments] starting and stopping. One guy getting planted over the hood of his car. I hadta promise Mark that I would think about what he said cos he’s worried about me.
“Why?”
“Because you’re suddenly not focused, and it’s not the way I know you. You’re slowly getting into the rut of what you’re doing, and what you’re doing is not what you want to be doing later [in life].”
We hitched home and got in about 3 in the morning. Would you believe it if I said we weren’t even trashed? It had really been a totally cool evening. Mark stripped down to his boxers.
“You gonna shower?”
“No. It’ll wake your folks up.”
“Not a prob. You can if you want.”
“It’s cool, Cody. Stop hassling.”
I got down to my boxers and threw my stuff in a heap on my desk, when I felt his arms on me, and his hands slide around to my stomach. I put my hands on his. “Oh, yeah? And this?”
“Wellll … I’ve just remembered that my very best friend is having a birthday today.”
“Thanks, man.”
His breath was warm against my neck, and [I was] feeling his chest up against my shoulders. I was suddenly in a safe cocoon with someone I cared a lot for. He made me turn around to face his big cheesy grin. “Hehehe, you look like the world is gonna end, Code.”
I suddenly realized that I must’ve had a helluva serious face on, so I smiled at him. “Only when you leave again.”
“But then we’ll meet again. Simple.” He moved his face closer to mine. “Happy birthday, Code.”
His lips moved slightly apart and he kissed me – so fucking gently. I opened my mouth to allow his tongue in and we kissed. I felt the muscles in his shoulder blades ripple as he held me tighter. We held each other for a long while before he moved away. I’m not sure how, but we both ended up on my bed. We hugged and kissed some more, and I put my hand under the waistband of his boxers. His boner was stone hard as I stroked it. He helped me take them off, and then he took mine off. We stroked each other, and then he pushed me on my back.
“Close your eyes, Code.”
He must’ve moved to switch off the lights cos I heard them go off. Then I felt his warm breath at my crotch. His tongue slid up my length and then down again. He toyed with my nads as he played tongue-lashing with my boner.
“Oh, fuck, Mark! That feels awesome!”
He never said a word. I kept my eyes closed. His tongue played in my belly button, and I felt my stomach muscles gyrate, and then he was licking my nipples. His hand was sliding up and down my length, and my legs. He threw his one leg over me and I caressed it. His own cock was leaking against my leg then. Then he went down on me. I felt my whole stomach do a somersault as my boner disappeared between his lips. Then he was back on my nipples and my nads.
“Wait, Mark! Wait!”
I squeezed as hard as I could to stop myself from cumming. I wanted this to last forever. My cock was dripping like a leaky tap. Then he rolled on to his back and I let him have the same treatment, tasting his armpits, and then his nipples, and each muscle in his sixpack. I went down between his legs and played with his nads one at a time. I could feel him stretch and catch a breath, and then I slowly let his boner slide between my lips. His cock was thick and hard and felt fucking fantastic, and tasted even better. He had a strong musty smell in his crotch, which just made me even more excited. I heard him catch his breath, then pulled my head up. I moved my head away and grabbed his boner in my fist and stroked him as fast as I could. His one hand wrapped around my wrist. I deliberately put my face above his boner as he shot, and I could feel the warm thick jizz on my face. His body was shaking and his stomach was moving in and out quickly as he was breathing.
After it looked like he had offloaded, I went down on him again and slowly and gently cleaned his furniture. I took the jizz off my face with my fingers and then licked them clean. Again, I was on my back, and Mark was blowing me. This time I never held back. I could feel the explosion long before it arrived.
“I’m gonna shoot, buddy.”
Mark moved his face away. There was no way he was standing in front of this runaway truck. I felt his fist jab-jab-jabbing away, and then it was there – a rush of juice that exploded out of my cockhead like a gusty winter wind – one blast after another. My body went into a spasm. Mark carried on stroking me until my cock was so tender that I hadta take his hand away.
I cleaned myself up, and then the two of us lay in bed together.
“I’m going to have to get onto the [spare] mattress, Cody.”
“Just wait – just a little while longer – please.”
Mark had his back to me and my arm was draped over him; my hands playing with his chest and stomach. It felt warm and wonderful.
I must’ve dozed off cos I woke up with my mom kissing me on my cheek, wishing me happy birthday. My dad followed her and gave me a kiss as well (I’ve always kissed my dad goodnight and goodbye. Not sure if I ever toldya that) – just like a peck [on the cheek].
They sat on my bed and my mom gave me a nicely wrapped gift. It was a paira Replay sneakers and a coupla ts and a Tomb Raider soundtrack CD. It was fantastic. I gave them both a huge hug. Tried my best to keep the covers over my furniture so I didn’t embarrass Mark but they just slipped off. Anyway, it was just a semi.
After my folks left [my room], Mark cracked laughing. It had been ages since I heard him laugh so loud. “Cody! My fuck! I can’t believe you did that!”
“What?”
“Hugged your old lady with a boner.”
“I didn’t. I hugged her with my arms.” That just cracked him up even more. “Anyway, it wasn’t a boner, it was a semi. The fresh air turned it into a boner.”
He sat up on the mattress and leaned over to me, and gave me a hug. “Happy birthday, bro.”
My hand rested on his boner. “Now, that’s a boner, so don’t talk crap to me… Thanks.”
“Here.” He handed a small packet out of his tog bag to me. There was a card. ‘Your gift of friendship has always been the most valuable thing I’ve got from anybody. Have a great birthday, buddy. Love, Mark.’
The card was cool. I didn’t need anything else. I felt my eyes start to water, and my throat closed up. Inside the parcel were two pairs of boxers like Mark’s – a white pair and a black pair.
“Those are from Candy. The card is from me. I told her you would dig those. I tried to organize Paul again but I couldn’t find a big enough box [to put him in]. Sorry.”
“You being here has really made this day special. And I love the card. It’s fucking awesome. And tell Candy the boxers are just cool.”
“So try the black ones on.”
The satin hugged my butt and my furniture. The slits on the sides of the shorts made it easy to bend, but they really showed me off, and made me feel pretty good.
“Now I can tell Candy the boxers are just super cool; and they fit. I was worried that you’d gotten a big butt and gotten fat while I was away.”
I laughed at him.
After showering, we sat eating breakfast with my folks, and then the whirlwind ran in.
“Hey, Codfish! Happy birthday, man!”
My mom thought he was so damn cute until he buckled over from my backhand in his gut. “Go ‘codfish’ your grommet buds.”
“Oooer! So how’s your birthday been so far?”
“Cool. What did you bring me?”
*Mom* “Cody!”
“I’m kidding, mom.”
*Wingnut* “Oh, yeah … right. Anyway, I did bring you something. Here.”
I reckon the card must’ve taken him a whole night to do. It was a hand drawing of the Endless Summer poster. Where the movie title shoulda been he wrote: ‘To my older brother’. Inside he wrote: ‘Even though we hardly see each other, you’re still the best brother a little grommet could have. I hope you have a totally kiff day. Happy birthday, Code, from your little bro, Wingnut’.
“That is pretty fu… damn styling, bro.”
*Wingnut beaming* “Kiff, huh?” Then he slapped Mark on the back. I even felt it. “So how’s Conan?”
“Fit enough to beat you up.”
“Yeah but you old people just can’t run anymore. Anyway, I’ve gotta jet. Cody, I’ll try and check you later … maybe go for a wave or something.” He was out like a whirlwind.
Mark helped me with a coupla chores around the house, and then went to his mom’s to have lunch. I spent a lot of time just thinking about what he had been saying [about my future direction]. He came back in the early afternoon and said that the lunch had gone pretty well. Even shitforbrains was cool to him. It was only then that I found out that he was flying out that night cos my dad came in [to my room] and asked him what time he wanted to leave for the airport.
“Fuck! I thought you’d be here for a few days still.”
“I wish. I didn’t want to tell you when I arrived cos you would’ve just been in a shit mood the whole time, so now I only have to put up with it for a few hours.”
“Can I talk to you about last night?”
“What about it?”
“I just want to say that it was pretty special, especially that you initiated it.”
“That was my birthday present to you, Code. And it was pretty special for me, too. Actually, it was incredibly special.”
“Do you think about it? Like when you were in that flat [in Cape Town] and we spent that time together?”
“Yeah. But not like you think. It’s more the closeness of being together rather than anything that happens on the side – cos that’s a result of what I feel. It’s the feeling [itself] that’s important.”
“Does the other stuff worry you?”
“No. And that’s honest. I know that it’s something special the two of us have shared, and cos you’re special I don’t let it hassle me. I could, but I don’t let it.”
“Yep, you’ve definitely changed. I still wish sometimes that things could be different [between us] but I guess I need to be happy for the way things are, which are pretty awesome.”
“Something I want you to do, Code.”
“Anything for a bud.”
“Nope, it’s for you. Remember what I spoke about? I want you to write things down that you want to do, and then write down how you think you’re gonna get there, and then plan around that and go out and do it.”
“Like yachting?”
“That was just an idea. I think you’d enjoy it. You’re very focused on who you think you are but, at the same time, I don’t think you know what that is, and I think that that is holding you back from starting the adventure.”
“Whoa, boy! You’re getting quite heavy.”
“Crap. I don’t mean to sound heavy. It’s just that Candy has taught me so much about myself and how to look forward to set goals for myself. There isn’t a thing in the world that you can’t do, Code, but you need to get out of that cocoon that you’ve wrapped yourself in. I can’t put my finger on it but I know that you’re in it. You’ve got so much fucking potential to go and get anything [you want].”
“That is pretty deep shit. I’m gonna have to think about it.”
“That’s a start.”
That afternoon we just chilled out, and spoke about all kinds of shit, and then it was time for the airport. Shallow waters again.
We went to a café and had something to drink while we waited for Mark’s flight to be called. Mark actually looked more upset than I was. I was actually pretty damn in control. It was pretty neat – all of us chatting, and Mark telling my folks what he was doing up there [in Joburg], and about Candy.
And then…….
The boarding announcement.
Mark was suddenly edgy and nervous. He gave my mom a hug and shook my dad’s hand, and thanked them for the weekend. OK, OK, so I lost some of my self-control, and my eyes started watering, but I think it was some dust that got in my eye or something. We hugged each other, and then he turned and never looked back.
I actually didn’t feel as down as I thought I would. I watched him walking away and wondered when I would see him again.
I could feel and smell him that night, and I could hear him speaking to me.
He phoned home on Monday and told me what a great weekend it was, and reminded me to think about what he’d said [about my future].
And that is the reason this [mail] has taken so damn long [to write]. Since Mark has gone, I have been in and out of depression; not because of our relationship or me missing him but more about me.
Fucking hell, G, I have been so deep that I even thought at one stage [that] I was having an out-of-body experience. Have you ever kept asking yourself that question, ‘Who am I?’ over and over again and really wondered about what the fuck you’re doing here? That’s what I’ve been doing, and I’ve written down a lot of things and torn papers up and thrown them away. I’ve been working my ass off in the shop and had a two-day surfing trip, which also gave me a chance to think.
I’m not sure where I am right now in my head but one of the things that I’m gonna do is scrap the web page. It’s just a thought of mine. I have become wrapped up in Cody’s World and I get panicky cos the thing’s out of date, and then I get emails from guys asking me what’s up? Not shitty mails, but from people genuinely worried about me. And then I can’t answer them. And then there’s the email you’ve got [asking about me and the site] and that threw me into another panic cos right now, when I’m looking at what lies ahead for me, I can see myself incredibly close to people recognizing me from the net – and it’s the last thing I want.
When Cody’s Pad first started a hundred years ago the internet in SA was like a total fad with only very few people having access to it. But now …. the world has suddenly gotten incredibly smaller. I have had so many offers from guys saying that they would pay for me to fly to the USA and stay with them and study, and also to fly to Oz to see you. Another time, another place. Who knows? But it can’t happen. Out of all the things that I’ve promised myself will not happen, that’s the one and only promise that I’ve really managed to keep myself.
I don’t want to dump the [Cody] page completely but I want to take all my pics off and redo it more as a place for teens to rave off if they need to, and for guys who enjoy surfing sites to check in, and also to read the stories. I spoke to Steve about all this as well, and typical Steve: ‘Just cruise along and go where the world and time takes you’. He said that I should compromise on the page, though, rather than trash it.
“Fuck, Cody, there are so many sites out there with guy pics that you don’t need that. But you enjoy working on it so keep it going. Just take a lower profile.”
Steve digs your site, G, and Worldboys. I think he’s spent more time in there than I have, only cos he’s got more time.
A whole lot has changed, G. I often wish I was still in school. It was a safe haven for me. Hehehe, yeah, even with the fighting and crap. Paul’s gone. Mark’s in Joburg. And who knows where after that? Steve’s thinking of going overseas to try his hand at surfing the north shore [of Hawaii?]. Wingnut is really nailed into his group of friends now, and that’s how it should be. I see him often enough, and we still enjoy being close to each other, but it’s definitely become an older bro/younger bro thing.
A lot of my friends are in college, and even more have gone overseas to work at summer camps and study in the States on sports scholarships. Who knows what Steph is gonna do? She finishes school this year, and then she says she’s not sure [what she wants to do]. Her dad said that she should try and travel on a student work permit for a year or so. And he’s even asked if the two of us want to do it together cos it’s easier traveling in twos. And that’s something else I‘ve given thought to.
So, as you can see, I’m really like a fart in a thunderstorm at the moment, and trying desperately to look for a direction in which to travel. I’ve set myself an end-of-year- timetable to sort things out – kinda ties in with Steph leaving school, and who knows what may happen in the middle.
I still need to sit down with my folks and talk things over with them cos I’d like their input as well. So it’s not something to just rush into and say, “Hey, that’s cool. Let’s do it”. I’m not a Nike ad.
It’s now Thursday afternoon, a week after starting this mail, and the sun is out at last. Not sure about the weekend, though. We’ve had some really decent surf this week and I hope it lasts.
Anyway, G, I’m gonna send this as confusing at what it all is. There’s really something I need to be thankful for and it’s that you’ve always been there to pick me up when I’ve needed it, and slap me around when I’ve needed that as well.
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