Number 5 - December 20, 2000
MrB: Six months ago, when I last interviewed you, you were at school and your entire social life revolved around it. At the end of the year, your school days came to an abrupt halt, and you weren't prepared to be cast into the unknown. I told you at the time that life was about change, and that change wasn't about standing still. I also said that once we learn to accept a change in our lives, we wouldn't go back for all the tea in China. Do you agree with me now?
Cody: I know now that I'm gonna be going thru a lotta changes in the years ahead. I'm not so sure that accepting change is one of my strong points. I get into a comfort zone that I'm happy with - okay so that zone might be six inches from the navel :). Learning to accept change is not that easy - it's the unknown stuff that always scares the shit outta me. At this stage going back to certain things wouldn't be too bad - like the last two years at school. I could handle that again.
MrB: So could I. But to slow your progress would be unfair. I have a feeling that you're destined for some pretty special things, Code.
MrB: In your relatively short life, you've come to love quite a few people -- all of them simultaneously, and all of them deeply. You give me the impression that your version of love is a bottomless well, and that you can just keep on bringing up buckets of the stuff. It's a bit like the 'Loaves and Fishes' story in the Bible... enough for everybody. You're the first person in my experience who manages to do that successfully. Any comment?
Cody: I regard myself as a passionate person. Yeah I can put my fists up and fight if I need to - and I've had my share of being beaten up and beating guys up - sometimes more than the average. But maybe that's me - passionate about love and passionate about fighting for something or someone. There're actually not that many people - I can count them on my one hand - okay two hands and a foot - ok ok. Love starts with friendship and believing in friends and believing that you're not always gonna see eye to eye and knowing that after a fight or argument that things are gonna turn out right between you. I think I return love that I receive from other people. I've come to love people I've never met, such as TJ and Steve W and even some old fossil dude. I think it's got a lot to do with respecting people for different things - I can find out the worst in people and learn to hate them for it but every single person on this planet has got qualities that they can be loved for - find those - you'll be surprised.
MrB: Recently, it was the 20th anniversary of John Lennon's death. Prophetically, the morning before he was shot, he'd been interviewed. "I'm not afraid of death. It's like getting out of one car and into another." How does his remark sit with you? And here's another coincidence... "Imagine" started playing on the radio just now.
Cody: Death is a change and it scares me shitless. I was close once - but you changed that - made me believe in myself. I don't agree with the remark about like getting in and out of one car and into another. I haven't convinced myself about life after death. I hear all the sayings like "Life is a journey - not a destination". Once I know the destination I'll letya know how I feel about it.
MrB: Bloody tease.
MrB: Since I last interviewed you, you've had another remarkable experience with Nick... another bucket of love from the bottomless well. Ships in the night? Or something more?
Cody: Nick is unique. He is a lot like me - full of passion. When we make love it's like a bonfire coming to life. I don't see a serious relationship happening with Nick although I could handle that. Nick is seriously in love with someone else and he with Nick. He allowed me the time with Nick knowing that I would be gone soon and he knows that Nick and I might meet again for a moment of wild passion and it doesn't phase him. Nick taught me how to love - he was my teacher and I'll remember him for as long as I live.
MrB: Maybe it's too early in your life to ask this question, but is there anything you would have done differently if given the chance?
Cody: I often wonder what it's like to be heterosexual and having no interest in guys. It's not something that I could've changed though. I don't think I would've done anything differently based on what I know now. My folks gave me a lot of opportunities and I grabbed hold of most of them and I appreciate every single day. I think yeah it is a bit early for me to reflect on differences.
MrB: I remember reading on the back of a gay mag years ago that life wasn't about heterosexuality, or homosexuality, or bisexuality, but simply about sexuality... period. Your lifestyle seems to vindicate that. You agree?
Cody: I can agree all I like - and yes, I do agree, partly. Partly because I think that love has to play a part. Sex - just for sex? I want to enjoy the full exploration of my partner and feel him or her exploring me and enjoying each other - not for the sex but for who and what we are. I want to feel what they feel inside and I want them to know how I feel. Even with Nick - we explored each other's minds and loved what we found hidden inside there.
MrB: Here's a toughie. Mark declared his love for you, then kissed you passionately. We're not talking a little peck on the cheek here, Code. He surprised the hell outa you [and me], but I got the impression that he didn't surprise himself. He rationalized his behaviour by saying that it was you who "made it right". Was that a copout do you think? Was he trying to justify his attraction to you in particular, and not to other guys in general? How much of the 'blame' do you accept?
Cody: Now here's a thing and you can take it asya like - Mark is str8. I suppose some of the moments we've shared disprove that but I don't think so. I think it's partly my influence - I've made no bones about being in love with Mark recently and yeah I think I could share the rest of my life with him - that will never happen. "Blame?" How much blame should I throw on to Paul for giving me my first blow job and turning me gay? Yeah, right! I don't think Mark's comment was a cop-out. He's not that sorta person - he says things which are on his mind, and stuff it if you don't like it. I've never seen Mark give another guy a second look - no, that's a lie - sometimes he might comment on how good a guy's bod is - like just out of thin air and you'd know it was just a passing comment. Mark kissing me on the mountain that day got us both by surprise - and it wasn't just a kiss - I tasted his tongue in my mouth. I could really quiz him about that afternoon to find out what the hell made him do that - but knowing Mark, he would kick the shit outta me for blowing it outta proportion. To him it was a spontaneous showing of love to a friend. Yeah, so we kissed. To me it was a biggie.
MrB: Me too. And I don't think he's gonna forget it in a hurry.
MrB: In the early days of your friendship with Steve, you were worried that he was gonna get older and get the guilts about the gay sex he'd had with you. That hasn't turned out to be the case. Do you think the same scenario will apply to Wingnut?
Cody: I wish I knew Steve as well as I should. Steve is a blonde god and unfortunately he does know that, but it's not all his own fault. Women old and young fall over him. I think he's screwed as many mothers as he has daughters. I know of him and me but I'm kinda convinced that him and his school buddies have bi-sexual action at some of the parties they go to, although no one will ever admit that. I think I was the first person to show Steve some gay sex - then he couldn't get enuf of it. But his life has been pretty normal - full of sex with hundreds of women. It's early days to tell what will happen with Wingnut. I've already had the guilts about Wingnut but then I think it was him that touched my dick first and him that came on to me when he was 12 years old. He is still a virgin as far as having sex with a girl is concerned and he is desperate for it. He is always asking me what it's like and the problem is he picks up the crap that his friends all tell him - and he just responds - I think his friends think he fucks like a rattlesnake and there isn't a virgin in the neighbourhood any more cos of Wingnut. It's a typical young teen crap out bragging about how many girls you've had, cos that's what your friends do. I think Wingnut sees the sex we have - and it's been mainly jacking - as a release - someone else getting his rocks off so he doesn't have to do the hand jive every nite on his own. He doesn't see it as gay sex at all. Even the blowjob I've given him has just been a sexual release for him and nothing else. Once he gets into his girlfriend I don't think he's gonna bother me - not for a while at least - and not that it's much of a bother. How many guys get a chance to blow a muscular thirteen year old rugby playing surfer? hehehehehe
MrB: You've just blown the next chapter of Wingnut. :p
MrB: Mark has often made reference to 'Codyisms'. If you could bottle one, and make it available to the world, what would it be?
Cody: Mark - and you - have referred to Codyisms. I'm not always aware of them but I think I would like to give folks at least something to think about. Have respect for others - always - above all have respect for yourself cos if you dont have that then how can you expect others to respect you. Respect and enjoy the differences in other people who make life so interesting even if you dont agree with their way of doing things.
MrB: Describe God. :)
Cody: I believe that God exists. Without meanin to hurt any of my religious friends - and I've got a bunch - I believe that religion has been the biggest cock up that the world has ever seen. It has caused more division between people, nations, families, friends and lovers than any other single thing. Christians fight amongst each other and some Christian groups have their own version of the Bible, like the Jehovah's Witnesses. I believe in "Life" values, rather than "Christian" values - such as respect, hard work, love for people amongst others. Religions other than Christian shoot the hell outta each other in the name of religion - and that's been goin on since long before the Bible. "Imagine there's no religion, ..... just a brotherhood of man."
MrB: Loveya tons, Code.
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