Sydney/Taree Australia
Part 4

I took the empty glasses back to the bar, and waited for the lady bartender to serve me. "Are you 18?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"You don't look 18. Got any ID?"

"It's at home. Uh, I mean in Petersham. I'm visiting Oz. I'm from Tampa, Florida."

"America?"

"Yeah."

"Lovely accent." Then she cocked her head to one side and gave me the hairy eyeball. "You sure you're 18?"

"Absolutely, ma'am," I lied, and gave her my most innocent look.

"Well, I guess I'll have to trust you. You have a very trustworthy face, not to mention gorgeous. Do you con everybody like you're conning me?"

"No ma'am. I mean, I'm not conning you. Honest. I would never con anybody!"

"So what'll it be?"

"What will what be? Oh! You mean the beers? Uh, three B somethings. Uh, TB?"

"That's a disease. You mean VB?"

"Yeah! That's it! VB."

The lady grabbed three fresh glasses, and began to pour the beers from the chromed tap. "So how long are you staying in Oz?"

"Not long... about a week."

"Pity," she smiled, then placed the beers on the counter. "That'll be nine sixty."

"Dollars? You guys have weird money. It's all different colors." I pulled my wallet outa my back pocket, and produced a ten. "Ten dollar bill?"

"My name's not Bill. That's a ten dollar note."

"Oh. So how come they're not bills?"

"'Cause if Bill had them all, there'd be none left for the rest of us."

I wrapped my thumbs and fingers around the three glasses, like I'd seen Col and Jeff do, and took them back to our table. Ten bucks was pretty cool, though, 'cause Oz dollars were worth about half US.

"Hey, guys," I said as I placed the schooners on the table without spilling a drop. "That lady at the bar didn't believe I was 18."

"So how come she served you?"

"I gave her a dose of the ol' irresistible Daniel charm," I shrugged, then took my seat. "She liked my accent."

"So how old are you?"

"Old enough."

"You look about 16... 17 max."

"I'm a late bloomer." Then I raised my glass, and flashed my pearlies. "Cheers, guys."

As soon as the Tangara's automatic doors opened, I was out like a flash, and up the railway station steps two at a time. A few blocks later, I was knocking on B's front door.

"Hey, B! I met the coolest guys," I said as I followed him down the hall and into the living room, which was piled high with cartons. "They're surfers. I met them at Bondi, and we had a wicked time. Totally wicked! They invited me to the rubbity for a few beers. And guess what? They come from Taree! Woohoo! You're gonna go ballistic when you meet them, B. Totally hot dudes. Anyway, they've invited me to a pub in Oxford Street tomorrow night."

"Oxford Street?"

"Yeah. They told me all about it. It's gay. But that's cool. They just go there for fun. Y'know, tease a few queens and stuff like that. I'm kinda nervous about it, but I guess it'll be a cool experience."

"I'll lend you my chastity belt."

"Nah, B," I laughed. "It's not like that. Jeff and Col aren't into the gay scene. Like I said, they just do it for fun. You finished packing yet?"

"Getting there. Just when you think you've got it licked, you find a bunch of other stuff that needs packing. I'll be glad when this bloody disruptive business is all over!"

"I can help you."

"Thanks, Daniel, but you're visiting Sydney, and I don't want you going back to Tampa with memories of packing."

"How come the trains here are called Tangara?"

"It's an ancient aboriginal word."

"Meaning?"

"Air conditioning. Now what would you like for dinner?"

B was right. He did make the best spaghetti bolognaise in the history of the modern world. We ate it sitting at his computer, which was in his bedroom, while he was checking his email. Sue and Lindsay were eating theirs in the living room, watching TV.

"Dammit, nothing from Cody. Maybe I should write him and tell him you're here. That would inspire his fingers to start tapping the keyboard."

"Fucking hell!" I yelped as I dropped some bolognaise on my dick. "And it's hot!"

"Here's a tissue," B offered, after grabbing one from a box on his desk. But I didn't take it. "Daniel! I know what you're thinking. Use the tissue!"

"You don't know what you're missing, B."

"I've got plenty of bolognaise on my plate."

"Yeah, but..."

"Don't 'yeah but', me, Daniel! And wipe that silly grin off your face!"

"Just teasing, B," I cracked after taking the tissue, and wiping the meat sauce off my semi. "I'm practicing for tomorrow night."

"You're going naked?"

"In boardies. That's all Jeff and Col wear. Drives the queens totally wild."

"You can't travel on a train at night in nothing but boardies!"

"Chill, B. We'll leave our shirts and shoes with the guy behind the bar. No wukkers!" Then I noticed B writing an email to Cody. "Huh? What's this? You call him 'Scrumptious'?"

"I'm a fossil. I'm allowed to be eccentric. And you shouldn't be looking over my shoulder."

"Hey, B, we're mates, right? You and me? So what does Cody think about you calling him 'Scrumptious'?"

"He's never complained. He takes me with a grain of salt."

"Jeez, you type fast. How'd you learn to type like that?"

"The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog... five million times about 30 years ago."

I watched the screen as words appeared as if by magic: "G'day Scrumptious - Guess who's here? He's blonde, tanned, naked, cheeky, infuriatingly curious, not bad looking.."

"Not bad looking?"

Delete, delete, delete. "Pretty good looking..."

"Pretty good looking?"

Delete, delete, delete. "Quite good looking." Delete, delete, delete. "Very good looking..."

"That's more like it, B."

"...and he's sitting right behind me reading the screen as I write this email. I honestly never thought that somebody with an ego like an inflated dirigible could be so..."

"So what? And what's a dirigible?"

"Shuddup. I'm trying to think."

"... charming."

"I'm charming? Woohoo! Hey, B, you got a crush on me or something?" I laughed as I put an arm around his neck, then read the rest of the email as he typed it.

"Prob is Daniel's a fucking incurable chatterbox... never stops talking or interrupting. And to make matters worse, he's got an arm around my neck. How the fuck am I supposed to concentrate? Anyway, this is just a quick note to let you know that Daniel's enjoying his stay in Sydney ... met a few surfers and chatted them up ... surprise, surprise ... and he's coming with me to Taree to make sure I settle in OK.

Hope everything's well in Cape Town. Write soon or I'll stick another pin in my Cody doll. :-P Daniel says hi, and misses you a stack.

Cody's FAN-BFT

B"

"You're Cody's fan?"

"It's a figure of speech," B said as he clicked on 'send'.

"But you don't like it when your readers say they're fans of yours. You get all bent outa shape."

"I was born all bent outa shape. Besides, compliments embarrass me. Can you take your arm away?"

"Why?"

"'Cause you're making me feel awkward."

"What's the matter with you, B? Buddies put their arms around each other all the time. It's no biggie."

"I can feel your body heat, and smell your breath. It's making me nervous."

"My breath? Does it smell bad?"

"How can it smell bad if it smells like my bolognaise? No, it smells nice. It always smells nice. That's the problem."

"Problem? What problem? Listen up, B. I'm gonna ignore you when you go on with all this nervous bullshit. OK? I'm just gonna do what I feel like doing, and right now I feel like putting my arm around your neck. So you're just gonna have to deal with it. You hear what I'm saying?"

"You're kinda scary, Daniel."

"I scare you? What the fuck? Why should I scare you? I don't understand this. I'm sitting next to you, with my arm around you, and that's supposed to be scary?"

"You're so incredibly natural.. so... so spontaneous and uninhibited... so... so... And it's not only that, Daniel. I'm an old bloke."

"What's wrong with being an old bloke?"

"You're a young bloke. Actually, you're a teen."

"So? It's not like we're fucking lovers or whatever! Jeez, B! I'm gonna have to straighten you out. You've gotta learn how to chill. Hey, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking you've got a self-esteem prob. Yeah, that's it. You're always putting people on pedestals 'cause you don't think you're worthy. Am I right?"

"What about Jeff and Col. Are they on pedestals?"

"Well, yeah," I had to admit, "but it's not like I feel inferior or anything. We're all on pedestals. And, come to think of it, so are you, but for different reasons."

"Me? On a pedestal? Ha! Come off it, Daniel."

"Sure you are, B! Cut the modesty crap. Anyway, do you think I'd be sitting here next to you with my arm around you if I didn't think you rocked big time? What's the matter with you?"

"When I was a boy..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I interrupted, "the fucking earth was still cooling down. Hey, B, let's not get into that bullshit. We're talking about here and now, not Jurassic Park. Hey! What are you laughing at?"

"You. You're priceless."

"I am? Cool. You've got good taste in teens, and I've got good taste in fossils. How's that?" Then I remembered something. "Hey! Lemme check something." I darted over to the bed, rolled the covers down, and looked at the bottom sheet. "No pubes! Not a pube in sight! Hey, B, lemme look at the matchbox."

"I like to keep the place clean, that's all."

"Yeah, right." I walked back to where B was sitting, and stood behind him while I fondled his shock of soft white hair. "Do Sue and Lindsay know how crazy you are?"

"Yep."

"And Cody?"

"Yep."

"Hey, can I ask you something? Do you really have a chastity belt?"

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