Sydney/Taree Australia
Part 22

"Do you guys know that Jason dude," I asked as the Holden Ute headed back along the ribbon of tar that weaved its way through the bushland to Taree.

"Seen him around. He's not a bad surfer."

"How come he's not your bud?"

"'Cause we don't walk up to strangers like you do and treat them like we've known them all our fucking lives," Col grinned.

"Maybe you should. That's how I met you and Jeff."

The yellow Holden nosed into B's drive, came to a halt, then Col switched off the ignition and killed the 'donk' as he called the motor. Then we noticed B crossing the road, armed with a million shopping bags. He looked totally stuffed; sweating in the heat of the afternoon sun and suffering from the humidity.

"You should wear a hat," I suggested as the guys and I helped him put the groceries away in the kitchen.

"Hat? What kinda hat?"

"One of those Aussie ones like Greg Norman wears."

"You know about Greg Norman?"

"He lives in Florida, hey, even though he's an Aussie golfer."

"I couldn't wear one of those hats, Daniel. I'd look ridiculous."

"You already look ridiculous. Where do these tomatoes go?"

"In the wooden bowl on the bench above the bar fridge. What do you mean I already look ridiculous?"

While we unpacked and stored the rest of the groceries, B told us he'd bought a home-brewing beer kit that would be delivered later that afternoon. Then he explained that it would be at least five weeks before the first brew was ready to drink. Damn! I'd be gone by then! Oh, well, maybe Col and Jeff could sample it, and tell me about it in an email.

"So what's for dinner?"

"Are your friends staying?"

I looked at Col and Jeff, and raised my eyebrows. They nodded in response. "But only if it's no trouble, B"

"Cooking for four is the same as cooking for six. No wukkers." Then the old dude produced two packs of frozen deep-sea dory before putting them in the freezer. "How about sweet and sour fish?"

"Cool!"

"And apple pie and fresh cream?"

"Wicked!"

The guys and I needed to wash the salt water off our bods, so B suggested we hook up the hose outside and rinse our bods under that.

"You wanna come and watch, B? We'll all be naked," I beamed, and winked at the guys, who were trying their best not to giggle.

"I've got things to do in the kitchen."

"You can do them later, B. How often do you get the opportunity to watch three hunky teens showering naked under the hose?" Then added, "With boners!"

"Stop that!"

"Stop what?" I asked with an innocent and puzzled expression on my face.

"You know very well what, Daniel. You're embarrassing me in front of your friends."

"It's OK," Col interrupted. "Daniel's told us all about you, and how cool you are. We don't mind if you wanna gawk... uh... I mean watch."

"Thanks, Colin, but... I... uh... that is.... I mean..."

The three of us grabbed B by the arms and dragged him out the back door, and down the steps. Then we went around to the side of the house where the hose was, and sat the old dude on the grass. "Now don't move!"

I took the hose from the tap, unwound it, then hung the nozzle over a tree branch. "OK, guys," I ordered, "boardies off!" Three pair of boardies hit the lawn.

"Ah!" B rose to his feet. "I'll put your shorts in the washing machine while you're showering under the hose."

"No you don't, B. You can do that later. Stay where you are or I'll... I'll whallop you around the chops with my boner." Well, that did the trick. B not only sat back down on the lawn, but three teen cocks began to rise to attention.

I returned to the tap, and turned on the water. I was watching the hose nozzle draped over a branch to see the result. After a second or two, a wide shower of cool water sprayed all over the lawn, turning it emerald green, and even causing a little rainbow. The guys and I were under it in no time, washing the salt from our hair and skins. Woohoo! But there was a minor prob. The sudden coldness triggered my bladder. I had to pee real bad. And as it happened, so did Col and Jeff.

"Hey, guys," I winked. "It's not fair that we're showering and B is missing out. Then I raised my semi and let go my piss. I figured it would land maybe a foot or two short of where B was sitting on the lawn. Oops! When Col and Jeff saw what was happening, and B not bothering to move outa the way, they must've figured what the fuck. Why not? So within a second, B was being drenched by three torrents of golden teen piss.

After we'd squirted the last of our jets, B stood, dropped his towel to the ground, and joined us under the hose. "You guys are disgusting."

"Yeah, but we're fun," I cracked, and caused Col and Jeff to submit to a fit of the giggles. "But you're not really mad at us, right, B?"

"I should be."

"Yeah, but you're not." B walked from under the hose, gathered his towel and our boardies, and headed for the laundry. "Hey, B!" I yelled at the top of my voice, "You're still naked!"

"Thanks for letting the neighbors know. Anything else you'd like to tell them? Besides, I don't care anymore. If it doesn't bother you scallywags, why should it bother me?"

Meantime, Col and Jeff were beginning to get a case of the guilts. "I don't think it was a good idea to piss on B. I mean, that's not the kinda thing you do to people you hardly know for fuck sake!"

"There are two kinds of pissing," I explained as I continued to enjoy the shower of cool water from the hose. "It's like fucking faces. You fuck the faces of people you like, and you don't fuck the ones you don't. It's not an insult. It's a... well, not exactly a compliment... more like an expression of affection. And it's fun. Make sense?"

"Kinda. But I wouldn't want that old dude to piss on me, or fuck my face."

"He wouldn't do that anyway. You gotta understand where B is coming from. Our piss is god piss. He thinks teens like us are totally fucking awesome. And he's right. We are. One day we'll be like him, and our piss won't be god piss anymore. But we'll be a different kind of awesome, like he is. You hear what I'm saying?"

"Maybe. But... well... you gotta admit, it's all kinda weird, though."

"What would you call what we did on the beach today? You gonna tell your folks about that? Hey, guys, lighten up. If everybody's having a cool time and nobody's getting their fucking shorts in a bunch, who cares?"

"It'd be cool to be like you, Daniel," Jeff said as he ran his fingers through his wet black hair.

"How so?"

"You seem to know how far you can bend the rules or push the limits."

"Rules are made for people who wanna live in safe little boxes."

I had to admit, despite my argument, that I might've gone a little too far in encouraging the guys to piss on B, so I told them to keep showering while I checked with B about something. I walked into the outside laundry, dripping water all over the tiled floor, and watched him as he tipped soap powder into the washing machine.

"Are you mad at me, B?"

"No, not really," he drawled without looking at me. "But you need to remember that I have to live in this town. Whenever I see Colin and Jeffrey, I'm going to be embarrassed about what happened today. And so will they."

"But it happens all the time with me and my buds."

"This is different." B dropped the towels and boardies into the machine, closed the lid, then turned the dial to 'Normal Wash'. "Not everybody thinks or behaves like you do."

"So you are mad at me. Right?"

"No, Daniel, I'm not mad at you. I just wish more people understood the way you are. I wish more people could be as uncomplicated as you are, and as impulsive. You never do anything to hurt anyone. Fun is your motive for everything, but not at the expense of another person. Sure, you're a practical joker, and you get up to untold mischief, like you did today, but there's never any malice." Once B was satisfied that the washing maching was doing its thing correctly, he smiled at me. "Wishing that there could be more people like you, Daniel, is wishful thinking. That could never be. You're unique... almost."

"Hey, are you worried about what Col and Jeff are thinking? Don't be. I had a chat to them and they're cool. They know it was just a prank."

"They urinated on me, Daniel. They've known me for all of five minutes and they urinated on me."

"Fucking hell, B! They didn't fucking urinate on you. What kinda fucking lamo word is urinate? They pissed on you, and they pissed on you 'cause I was pissing on you. That's not urinating for fuck sake! It's different. It's a game!"

"I hope they realize that."

"They do, B, honest. Well, they kinda had the guilts for a while afterwards but I explained things to them."

"Like what?"

"That you... well... that you... y'know... kinda like it 'cause it's god piss."

B cracked up so loudly I thought he was gonna have a seizure. I looked out the laundry door and saw Col and Jeff staring in our direction with startled expressions on their faces, wondering what the fuck all the ruckus was about.

"Daniel," B said after he'd almost stopped laughing, but was still wiping the tears from his eyes , "if you guys pissed in specimen jars and sent them to a urologist for analysis, I'm sure they wouldn't find anything godlike in your urine... uh, piss."

"That's only 'cause they wouldn't have known where it came from," I beamed.

"You're impossible. Have I ever told you that you're a scallywag?"

"Heaps."

After we'd all returned to the house, B couldn't quite cope with being naked in front of a bunch of hunky teens, so he pulled on a pair of trackies, then went about the business of preparing dinner while I showed the guys some Rude Dude pics on B's comp in his office.

A little later, the home-brew kit arrived, and B stored it in the spare room. "I'll check it out in the morning." Then he saw what we were doing. There was a pic of a guy on the screen who had a huge schlong jetting a truckload of jizz. B's eyes went from the screen to our crotches, and almost burst outa their sockets on springs as he noticed our boners. He was gone in a flash.

"How come B gets embarrassed?" Col asked as I clicked on the next pic. "I mean he's got a comp full of porn, and he writes hot stories. I don't get it."

"I've thought about it," I said without taking my eyes off the screen. "I think he lives in his own little private world, where it's cool, but when real people come into it - like us - it scares the living shit outa him."

"He doesn't need to be afraid of us."

"We know that." I took my eyes away from the comp and studied my Aussie buds' cute faces. "Hey, guys, we all live in our own little worlds. B's no different."

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